My Brother the Mute
by Stryder2008
Summary: "Dean inhaled as he tried to wrap his head around all the things that were taken from him in an instant that one instant that he hadn't shut his damned yap when he should have." What could have happened in 'Defending your Life' if Dean had said one more thing. He and Sam must track Osiris and get him to reverse what he did to Dean. Mute!Hurt Dean Upset!Angsty Sam Language alert
1. Chapter 1

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Storyline:** This story follows Sam and Dean as they deal with the aftermath of Dean's inability to 'Shut his cakehole', and the Egyptian god Osiris not only removes his tongue, as promised, but also his ability to make any sound at all, making Dean a mute. This is their story as they hunt for the god and try to deal Dean's new handicap. Can he hunt? Can they even find the god before the wall in Sam's head breaks down completely?

**Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all grammatical errors are my own. Sorry... Please Review...**

**Chapter 1**

_Dean should have listened_

"Keep him quiet counselor or I'll remove his tongue." Osiris was getting seriously irritated with Dean Winchester. The hunter was currently chained to a solid wooden chair awaiting a verdict, his tall 6'4 lanky brother Sam was seated in the chair next to him acting as his counsel. Dean was a fine example of the human male species, he was strong, standing nearly 6'2 _when he wasn't chained to a chair, _and he had intelligent deep moss green eyes and light sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheeks. His younger brother was also a fine example of the gene pool; he was taller with long brown hair and bright blue-green eyes that reflected an above average intelligence. He was also larger framed with a body of muscle that spoke of a warrior's life and the years that they had both spent training while growing up. Dean was no different in this respect; he was simply a little smaller than his gargantuan of a little brother. The damn hunter didn't know when enough was enough and apparently he wasn't about to learn anytime soon Osiris thought as the man struggled against the thick chain and glared at him in defiance.

"What the hell do you mean 'keep my mouth shut'." Dean spouted unable to stand the fact that he was being talked about like he wasn't even in the damn room, his green eyes flashing in irritation as he struggled against the bonds that held him hopelessly restrained to the seemly unbreakable wooden chair. Sam turned a warning look in his direction, but it was too late. The next thing that Dean knew was the instant white hot agony that flashed through his mouth and down his throat, like he had swallowed whiskey after having Strep Throat, and then nothing…no sound…nothing was coming out of his mouth. Sam looked at Osiris in growing panic as he saw his brother's mouth working and nothing coming out but the blood running steadily down his chin, his anger now rising to the surface as he watched his brothers green eyes go wide and fear flash through them in an instant.

"What the hell did you just do?" he growled at the Egyptian god. The smirk that settled on the judge's face just made Sam angrier. "I said what the fuck did you just do to my brother? Do I need to draw it out in hieroglyphics?" The god turned blank black eyes in his direction, raising a dark eyebrow at the comment, he was almost challenging Sam to continue with this tantrum.

"I warned him Sam." He said simply. Rising slowly from the gold embossed chair that he had been seated in, his rope billowing around his feet. "Now for a verdict, Dean Winchester I find you guilty in your heart…but since I have taken your voice, I will let that suffice for now. There will be no death verdict today." And with that he was gone…so were the chains holding Dean bound in place and the pillars of fire that had lined the walls giving the room an unnatural light.

Sam heard Dean hit the floor, he was instantly gagging and blood poured from his mouth as he tried to clear the metallic fluid from his lungs and throat. "Dean?" he called as he knelt next to his brother and laid a hand gently on his back. He didn't know how to deal with this, how did he fix this…would Dean even survive this? Sam's thoughts were plowing through his head unchecked as he watched his brother hack up blood onto the dusty floor boards.

Dean leaned on his elbows as the blood flowed out of his mouth and into a puddle on the dusty floor below him. Funny, his mind flashed back to one other time he had found himself in this position, when those freakin witches had cursed him and Ruby had saved him, _fucking Ruby, _he thought with rising fear and anger. Only this time there wasn't going to be a witch's cure that could fix what had just been done to him. He couldn't even make a sound, whatever that damn god had done to him it had been more than simply taking his tongue, because he couldn't make any sound at all. Why hadn't he just shut up…_because that has never been your strong suit Winchester, you have always had to push things one step further…and until today you kinda got away with it._ He thought as he tried to control his breathing. Sam was staring at him in concern, not that Dean wouldn't have been concerned too, but damn did the kid always have to look at him like he was a victim lately. _Okay this time I suppose I am somewhat of a victim._

Sam watched as his brother finally cleared most of the blood and then sat back on his heels, his face screwed up with pain, but, still, no sound emitting from between his brothers lips. "Dean what did he do to you?" he asked softly.

Dean turned pained eyes at him and shook his head…never uttering a word. Suddenly Sam got it. He understood that that son of a bitch had taken not only the tongue, but Dean's ability to communicate entirely. This new found knowledge had Sam seeing red as he looked at Dean, at the fear that was thinly veiled in his glassy green eyes, but it was definitely there. His older tough-as-nails brother was afraid and the last time that Sam could remember seeing that was when Dean had been facing down the Hell hound nearly four years ago. So much had happened between then and now, but to see that look on Dean's face again nearly sent Sam over a precipice he hadn't realized that he had been teetering on.

Dean watched his _way too smart _little brother connect the dots and come to the correct conclusion, Sam knew that Dean couldn't talk. _Hell_ he couldn't even groan or mumble, or tell Sammy that he loved him and was proud of him. He was handicapped…_how the hell could he even hunt?_ He couldn't even say an exorcism for crying out loud or warn Sam if something got too close. He turned from his little brothers sympathetic blue-green gaze and pulled himself shakily to his knees and grasping the wooden table that had served as their _desk_, finally to his feet. He swayed as pain and blood loss coursed through his system and felt the immediate touch of Sam's hands on his shoulder and waist to steady him.

"Whoa there Dean…I got you." He said quietly. Dean wanted to scream and jump around at just how fucked up this sort of punishment was…_hell he might have preferred death to this sentence of silence_. Sam looked down at him, his eyes nearly swimming in tears as he looked at the crimson blood still dribbling down his older brother's lips and off his pale chin. He tried to cover the reaction, but he wasn't quick enough…Dean saw it and he struggled away from his brothers comfort. He didn't deserve it. One thing he did know was that that damn god had been right about one thing…_he was guilty._ Guilty of getting everyone he loved killed, in the most violent and bloody ways possible…even Sammy had died because Dean hadn't been watching him closely enough. Hell, his father had only given him _one_ task, his entire life, _Look out for Sammy, _and Dean had failed and Sam had paid the price. Sam's eyes took on the wounded puppy look that Dean hated to the very marrow of his bones…because he _always_ fell for it. He was always sucked into Sammy's soft blue-green eyes and his hurt expression and he _always_ felt guilty afterward. Right now it was worse than ever because he knew that his brother wasn't handling the hell-wall breaking down inside his head all that well and now he was faced with a brother that was next to useless.

"Dean, we need to get to Bobby's. Maybe he knows a way to fix this, or how track that bastard down and make him reverse it." Sam spat in frustration. His long frame nearly vibrating with his impotent rage, he scrubbed long fingers through his too long brown hair and pushed it out of his eyes.

Dean was constantly amazed at how quickly Sam could take stock of a situation and then look for the best course of action. Where he was all action all the time…Sam was careful planning and diligent research worked into skillful response. His mouth was throbbing like a bitch and he was still light headed, but he knew that Sam was right; they needed to leave here now and try to get to Bobby's._ Because God knows I couldn't hunt like this_, he thought. If something was coming up behind Sammy, he couldn't even warn the kid. The idea that it could put Sam in danger was the kicker, he would get this fixed, come hell or high water…he would get his voice back.

Sam watched as his brother stumbled out of the old red barn into the crisp night air, if the god had thought it out and searched for the best way to punish Dean, he couldn't have picked a better punishment. Except of course, if it had been the death of either Dean or even worse, _he knew Dean would think_, the death of him. They trudged through the red dirt and made it to the Impala, Sam was a little surprised when Dean pulled the passenger side door of the black car open, never even looking at the driver's seat that he nearly always occupied, in fact Sam used to tease him that he had a 'butt' impression on that particularly part of the seat that made it impossible for Sam to sit there comfortably. Sam gulped back his rising concern; this was not normal behavior for his brother. He was also increasingly frustrated when he realized that he couldn't even ask Dean about it, because chances were that his brother who would generally _chose_ not to answer, _the whole, No chick-flick moments' thing_…now couldn't.

Sam wondered about that as Dean settled into the seat, his head lowered and leaning against the door, his whole body reflecting pain and exhaustion. Dean couldn't look at Sam at the moment, because he was supposed to be looking after his baby brother not the other way around. The worst part was that Sam needed him more now than ever before and Dean was now less than he had _ever been_ with regards to his ability to hunt and his general usefulness. They had to fix this problem and with the breaking down of the hell-wall inside Sam's head along with his inability to _shut his cake hole, _which had now landed them both in a bit of a pickle. He heard Sam clicking through the numbers on his phone and stopping as he came across the grizzled old hunter's number.

Dean closed his eyes in frustration as he watched Sam wait for Bobby to answer, "Bobby?" Sam said quickly.

Bobby hoped that this call was to tell him that they had gotten to Dean in time and not the other way around. That damn Osiris was pretty hard one to pin down. "Yeah, you find your brother?" His voice was rough with worry as he waited for the youngest Winchester to answer.

"Uh…yeah I found him Bobby. But now we have another problem." Sam said quietly, hoping that his brother wasn't listening to this call as closely as he was sure he would be if their positions were reversed.

"Okay…you gonna fill me in or do I have to guess?" The older hunter groused.

"Um, yeah sorry. Osiris took Dean's ability to talk, I think he cut out his tongue and removed the vocal cords…as far as I can tell." Sam rushed through the information, trying to maintain a hold on his own growing nausea.

"Come again?" The gruff old voice questioned quickly, Bobby had heard a lot of things in his day, but he hadn't ever heard any hunter having their tongue removed by a God and then getting the damn thing back again. Hell, he had just wanted Sam to get Dean away from the judgment portion of the evenings festivities, since they both knew Dean would fail. He would have been sentenced to death, instead he was being sentenced to silence and for a guy like Dean...that was so much worse.

"Osiris…he made Dean a mute Bobby. He can't speak…can't even make a sound." Sam's voice broke on the last word and he looked at his brother, who was pretending to look out the window into the pitch black night. His breathing a little ragged with pain and his shoulder's slumping with the weight of this new and seemingly insurmountable problem.

"Oh…well. I guess you two better head on over this way and we'll see what we can do about that." Bobby's voice was gruff but concerned as he finished.

"Yeah...yeah that was pretty much our plan too." Sam said. His eyes shifting once again to his brother as he stared out into the black night, the road passing in a blur of darkness. "We'll be there by tomorrow. See what you can learn between now and then…please Bobby." Sam finished as he clicked his phone shut.

"Dean, we are going to fix this." He said with more confidence than he actually felt. Sam knew that his brother had told him lies to protect him during his life, so the least that he could do was return the favor. Dean turned veiled green eyes in his direction and rolled them to emphasize just exactly how much he so 'did not believe' Sam. Sam's eyebrows came together in worry as Dean continued to look at him, the blood now dried on his chin and his lips turned down in pain or a frown, Sam wasn't sure which. The most disturbing thing was that Dean hadn't even tried to wipe the crusty blood from his face, he had simply kept his eyes averted and watched as the darkened countryside flew by with dizzying speed. Sam rolled his eyes in frustration and shook his head at the absolute mess that their lives were currently. He was suffering from hallucinations and now his brother was suffering from the punishment of a God...their lives kinda sucked out loud!

Dean looked at his brother, knowing that Sam was lying to him, just like he would be lying to Sam if their positions were reversed. He didn't know how they could fix it at this point; it wasn't just the mute thing, that damn 'God' had taken his tongue too. That meant no more licking his lips when he sees a particularly temping piece of pie…or a woman. _Holy shit…that meant a lot things where women were concerned._ His eyes slid closed in that sudden and horrifying realization, he couldn't reciprocate like he used to. Hell, he couldn't even kiss a woman with tongue. _What the fuck…_ Dean inhaled as he tried to wrap his head around all the things that were taken from in an instant, that one instant that he hadn't shut his god-damned yap when he should have. But trash talking was just what he did, it was so ingrained into him that it had gotten him into trouble with the yellow-eyed demon all those years ago too. Now it had cost him the chance of saving his brother and possibly his ability to take care of Sam when the time came. Hell, he couldn't even really take care of himself this way, he would have to haul around a notebook and write everything down. He could just see himself trying to pick a girl by passing her a note: _Hey, do you want to go back to my place, check yes or no..._ Yeah that would go over well with the ladies. Shit, he couldn't even lick his lips if they got chapped. _Man this sucks out loud!_ He thought in rising indiganation as they continued to plow down the highway at what was probably a record breaking speed, _knowing Sam._

TBC…

**Author's Note**: _This has been rattling around in my brain since last year. So I started to write a fic on it, it should mostly stay within canon. If there is interest, I will post the rest of the story. So a good point was brought up that I thought that I should address, Dean only had the front portion of the tongue removed, the back part of the muscle is still there, so he can eat, but pretty much it will be shakes and liquid diet stuff. No more cheeseburgers or pie, unless they blend it up first. Yuck! No worries thought, I will not leave Dean in this predicament permanently, just for the sake of the story. I thought it sounded interesting and might make a good fiction.  
_

**Please Review…That way I know anyone even cares about the rest of this little fiction.**


	2. Dean Hates Milkshakes

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Storyline:** This story follows Sam and Dean as they deal with the aftermath of Dean's inability to 'Shut his cakehole', and the Egyptian god Osiris not only removes is tongue, as promised, but also his ability to make any sound at all, making Dean a mute. This is their story as they hunt for the god and try to deal Dean's new handicap. Can he hunt? Can they even find the god before the wall in Sam's head breaks down completely?

**Please Review: Also please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all mistakes are mine and unintentional...**

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone that reviewed the first chapter, it was such an odd idea for a fiction, glad to know that there is interest._

**Chapter 2**

_Dean Hates Milkshakes_

Sam was watching his older brother, the intense concern for his condition building. Sam knew that they needed to go to a hospital, whether or not his brother wanted to; that there was no way that Bobby was going to be able to deal with this on his own. This wasn't something that any of them had experience with, and the fact that they didn't understand exactly what had happened to Dean wasn't going to make it easy to explain either.

"Dean, I really need to take you to a hospital." He said quietly, looking over at his brother as he waited for the _'No Sammy'_ that he knew was coming. He wasn't disappointed, one thing about Dean...he was consistent in his refusal for medical attention. A point of contention that had been between them for the..._well for their entire lives actually._

Dean's head turned slowly in his direction, like he was trying to make sense of Sam's words and his eyebrow's coming together as he thought about that, briefly, and then he shook his head '_No_' in rising frustration. They couldn't go to a hospital, there would be too many questions, ones that he _couldn't answer _and reasonably explain what had happened to him, and there was no way for Sam to explain it either. One of the worst things for hunters was when the police got involved, and there was no doubt in his mind that this would warrant a call to the cops. Dean shook his head again more emphatically and turned back toward the window, his tongue actually hurting a little less now, almost like it was healing quicker than it should. Swallowing took some effort, but it didn't feel like fire was running down the trachea anymore.

"Deeeeaaaan…" Sam drawled out in frustration. He knew that it was going to be a long shot getting Dean to agree to that, but he also knew that it was the best course of action. At least this way they would know what they were dealing with, and unfortunately, at this point none of them really knew the extent of the damage that had been done to his older brother. The thought that this might be a permanent problem was really starting to bother him; he knew that Dean couldn't function this way. He was far _too vocal_ of a person and frankly Sam had already seen what happens when Dean loses his faith. He had been in that room when Zachariah had tried to make Dean choose between their death and life as an '_angel condom'_ _as Dean had called it_. "Dean, I really think that we need to know what we are dealing with here. I mean, how are you even going to eat?" he asked.

Dean blew an exasperated breath and then slowly scrubbed his hand over his face as he shook his head again; he over looked at Sam and raised his eyebrows. It was his way of saying '_leave it alone Sammy'_. The scary thing was that Sam knew exactly what _it_ meant and he was further irritated with his stubborn brother. Ever since they were kids getting Dean to admit that there was something physically wrong with him had been like pulling teeth. Sam gulped at the similarity between what had happened and the potential of having his teeth pulled out. He wasn't sure which would actually hurt worse, and he wasn't keen to find out. Dean didn't seem to be bleeding anymore, so that was something, but he _was_ still curled slightly against the door, his face always turned away from Sam, except when he was looking at Sam directly.

Dean's stomach was turning in on itself as he tried to ignore the pointed looks his little brother was throwing his way. They just needed to get to Bobby's and then start researching for a way to track that son of a bitch. Then all they had to do was convince _a God_ to give him his voice back…and his tongue. _Oh yeah…this is going to be simple._ He thought as his stomach rolled over again and he looked at the open fields that they were driving by. He couldn't really see anything, just the flat nothing beyond his window.

Their drive still had another 12 hours before they would be anywhere near South Dakota and Sam was starving at this point. He looked over at Dean, who was staring out the window, and Sam was finding that he missed his brothers incessant rambling terribly. Funny, he never would have thought that Dean's bad jokes and off-key singing would have been something that he would miss this much. The silence in the Impala was over-whelming and Sam couldn't do anything but sit there in the driver's seat and worry. Luckily, Lucifer had been silent for the most part; he inadvertently rubbed the scar on his left hand as he thought of the silence inside his own head.

Dean turned to look at Sam and he closed his eyes in frustration, he couldn't even ask Sam if he was okay, his little brother was rubbing the large u-shaped scar absently, and he only did that when he was having an 'episode'. Hell, Dean couldn't even apologize for killing that Kitsunee, the girl that Sam had known when he was younger. Now Dean was going to have to take that juicy piece of guilt to his grave and this particularly guilty event was consuming him. It was exactly what Osiris had been talking about. Dean had managed to not have that particular witness called, but _he_ still knew and _he_ still needed to come clean to Sam…_at some point_. But, God…this wasn't a conversation that he wanted to have on paper. Dean's eyes narrowed and he looked at the floor; his stomach chose that exact moment to rumble loudly, he wasn't sure if it was from hunger or from all the blood that flowed down the back of his throat initially. He looked at Sam as he wondered…_Just how in the hell he was going to eat_…_anyways?_

Sam's eyes were drawn immediately to Dean's as he heard his brother's stomach rumble, his own answering with a growl of its own. "Hungry Dean?" he asked.

Dean rolled his eyes and held up his hands as if to say 'obviously Sammy…' He raised his eyebrow over his right eye in a mock Spock impression and then smiled lightly. Sam wondered as he saw a small glimpse of the sarcastic brother he knew come shining through, if they might actually get through this. He saw a diner off the road up ahead and pulled over, without asking Dean if this was what he wanted.

"Dinner Dean." He said as he put the car in park and exited the vehicle, Sam watched as Dean grabbed a water bottle and dumped some water on an old flannel shirt from the back seat and the proceeded to wipe the blood from his chin. The pain wasn't as bad now, he pulled the visor, with the mirror, down and opened his mouth for the first time and looked at the damage. He looked away, almost instantly, as he saw the stump that used to be his tongue; it looked almost as though it been cauterized. _At least that explained why he wasn't bleeding anymore, and why he hadn't been bleeding since about six hours earlier._ Apparently, Osiris didn't want him to bleed to death before he could fully appreciate the '_sentence of silence'_. He exhaled loudly and climbed out of the car, leaning against it as he closed the door behind himself. Sam was watching him with an odd look on his face, but he didn't say anything. As Dean stepped up next to him, Sam handed him a small notebook and a pen…obviously so that Dean could communicate with him. Dean stared at the small black tablet like it was poison, he wanted to throw it in Sam's face…but he didn't. He knew that this was the only way that Sam could 'talk' to him, while Dean could hear Sam, there was no way for him to talk with Sam; Dean was effectively silenced without the pad and the pen.

It might have been one of the worst moments of Sam's life, the moment when he was forced to admit that his incredibly strong and able big brother _couldn't_ do something. He turned away, unable to stand the look of hurt in Dean's green eyes; odd…Sam had never really thought that Dean's eyes were that expressive before. But Dean told so much simply through the eyes…Sam wondered momentarily why had never seen that before…his brother was saying so much without ever saying a word. Sam walked through the front door of the restaurant and looked at the elderly waitress with the slightly purple hair that smiled up at him immediately. "Table for two?" Sam asked as he smiled back, allowing his dimples to form in his cheeks, although the emotion wasn't behind it.

"Of course sweetie…right this way." She said as she motioned toward the back of the diner, her name tag read 'Delores'. Sam looked briefly over his shoulder, to make sure that Dean had seen where he was heading. Dean followed slowly, his normal bounce and swagger, completely missing from his walk. Sam slid into one side of  
the booth and Dean slid in across from him. "What can I get you boys?" She asked as she pulled an ancient looking order pad from her pocket, sliding her horn rimmed glasses into place.

Sam looked at Dean and then down at the menu when Dean's face fell as he realized that he couldn't eat any of the things he liked. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked. She nodded and then turned toward the back heading off for water or something.

"Dean, what do you want?" Sam knew that he was potentially opening a time bomb here, but he needed to ask. His brother hated being treated like an invalid and this inability to speak for himself was going to grate every one of Dean's nerves in a big way. Sam was not looking forward to the arguments that he was sure they would be having in the future.

Dean huffed in irritation as he looked at the menu and realized that the only thing that he could have was the damn milkshake…and contrary to his sweet tooth…he absolutely hated milkshakes. He picked up that pad and wrote down that he didn't want anything, thank you very much. He was fine.

Sam's eyebrow's rose as he glared at his brother's neat handwriting, reading it as fast as Dean wrote it down. "That's bull shit Dean. I know you are hungry, I heard your stomach rumbling in the car, remember."

Dean's eyes narrowed in frustration and he looked at Sam and shook his head 'no'. He didn't want to eat the damn milkshake and as he stared at the menu, he finally noticed that they had some soup. Maybe he could have some tomato soup or something. He inhaled deeply and grabbed the pad and wrote down his order. 'Soup please, tomato if they have it?'

Sam watched and read, "Dean they have milkshakes, there's more calories…" Dean's furrowed eyebrows and a definite sneer gave Sam an immediate answer. "I thought you liked them Dean?" he asked innocently…he knew his brother hated them. Dean had hated them ever since they were kids, Sam had never asked him why, now he realized with sadness, he would never hear Dean's explanation. Oh he could read it…but it wasn't the same.

Dean wrote down quickly, 'No. I. Hate. Them. Sammy.' His brother had punctuated every word and given Sam an answer that was undisputable. Sam looked from the note to his brothers face and then back again. This was going to be harder than he thought it would be. If they couldn't find food that Dean would eat, then his brother was going to lose weight and potentially become sick. Sam knew that there were vital nutrients in certain foods, _foods that Dean rarely ate even before, _and Dean couldn't even swallow pills, at least he didn't think that he could. Sam was pretty sure that there was not nutritional value in an extra-large bag of peanut M&M's.

Dean continued to stare at Sam in defiance, he was not ordering that milkshake, Sam could go jump off a bridge if he thought he could convince Dean otherwise. He waited as the waitress made her way back to their table and smiled at them again, setting down two waters. "Okay, what'll it be boys?" she said as her ancient blue eyes shifted back and forth from brother to brother.

"My brother would like to know if you have any tomato soup?" Sam asked.

"Oh no sweetheart, today we only have cream of potato, will that work?" She asked as her eyes flitted to Dean's. Dean rolled his eyes and nodded slightly.

Sam just narrowed his eyes in frustration and then ordered a salad with chicken and the dressing of the side. He watched as Dean wrote on his pad, "Beer?" was written in capital letters.

Sam shook his head "No beer Dean. Water only."

Dean's look got darker as he turned away from Sam and stared out the window into the slowly brightening sky. This was going to get really old really freakin quick. He just wanted to get back on the road and head out to deal with Osiris and then move on with their lives…because _this_ was not going to be his life. Once they go to Bobby's they would get this all figured out. Bobby was one of the most resourceful people that Dean knew, he would know how to correct this _unfortunate incident_...as Dean was going to call it from here on out...as soon as he could speak again anyways.

TBC…

**Author's Note: **_So I took the liberty of having the healing process be somewhat 'magical' so that Dean could still eat and that will make it easier for them to search for Osiris immediately. It seems like a lot of their problems are still solved supernaturally. More soon…_

**Please Review: They really do make me write quicker. **


	3. Silence is Not Golden

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Storyline:** This story follows Sam and Dean as they deal with the aftermath of Dean's inability to 'Shut his cakehole', and the Egyptian god Osiris not only removes is tongue, as promised, but also his ability to make any sound at all, making Dean a mute. This is their story as they hunt for the god and try to deal Dean's new handicap. Can he hunt? Can they even find the god before the wall in Sam's head breaks down completely?

**Please Review: Also please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all mistakes are mine and unintentional...**

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone that reviewed the second chapter, I got some great feedback and found some information on this type of disability as well. Thanks_

**Chapter 3**

_Silence is Not Golden_

Dean watched as Sam paid the bill and crawled back into the Impala, he looked exhausted…Oh Dean was pretty damn tired himself, but this wasn't about him, this was about his stubborn pain in the ass gargantuan of a little brother. Sam was starting to look drawn and his eyelids were drooping before he even put the key in the ignition, Dean huffed in irritation and grabbed the keys from Sam motioning for him to move to the passenger's side of the car.

"What Dean?" Sam asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly, blinking slowly at his brother as his tired mind tried to comprehend what Dean wanted. Dean's eyes rolled again and he gently pushed Sam toward the door, gesturing to the driver's seat and then pointing to himself. Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he got the gist of what Dean was asking and he shook his head 'no'. Dean nodded his own head in response and pushed Sam again, rougher this time. Sam's lips thinned into a line as he looked at his brother's determined face…_apparently I am done driving for a while._ He thought with a mental sigh and then opened the door and climbed out, walking around the Impala and getting into the spot Dean had just slid over from.

Dean watched closely as Sam made the transition from driver to passenger and then shook his head as Sam's head leaned heavily against the door and his eyelids slipped shut. He had known that this had been extremely hard on Sam, _this whole Osiris thing_…maybe harder than it had been on himself. As things stood, his throat was still sore, but he was getting better with every moment. The only thing that was still bothering him was that he how to fix this; he had to get better…because he couldn't protect Sam this way…not really. He figured that the situation hadn't really hit him yet, that that must be why he was handling this impairment better than he normally would. He did, however, hate that the damn God that had silenced him, but Osiris hadn't killed him outright, so Dean guessed that that was a something at least. Bobby would help…he would know what to do.

The rest of the drive was done in relative silence. Dean didn't turn on the radio nor did he allow Sam to, as they turned the last corner and Bobby's old junkyard came into focus, Dean breathed a sigh of relief. The old dilapidated fencing still in disrepair and the fine dust puffing up behind the Impala as he rolled to a stop outside of the covered garage was so familiar that it was like _coming home_. Sam stirred next to him rubbing his hands through his hair and then putting the palms of his hands on his eyes as they adjusted to the light of the early morning sun.

"We at Bobby's?" he asked slowly as he looked around at the junkyard and then over to his brother…then he remembered that Dean wouldn't be giving him answer. So he waited for the head nod that Dean invariably threw his direction. His green eyes never leaving the garage that he was looking at, the garage where only a few days earlier he had been talking to Bobby about Castiel and Sam and whether or not he thought that Sam could be saved. As his eyes glazed over and he looked through Sam into the yard he wondered if he still believed that he could save his brother, after all this time he was still scared shitless of losing his little brother. There hadn't been any incidents with Lucifer taking over Sam's consciousness but that didn't mean that it was over or that Sam was better. Dean opened the door and climbed out of the car and stretched his arms over his head and rubbed his own eyes, trying desperately to deny how tired he really was.

"Dean, you okay?" Sam asked as he rounded the car and gently touched Dean's shoulder to pull his eyes in his direction. Sam was searching was something in Dean's face…apparently he did not find what he was seeking because his eyebrows came together in concern and his eyes softened. "I think we should go let Bobby know we are here." Sam finished quietly and turned away from his brother and started walking toward the house. Dean grabbed his elbow, stopping Sam and causing him to turn and look at his older brother again. "Yeah?"

Dean shook his head; he just didn't want Sam to leave him standing there by the car alone. He tried to smile and found that it was feeling extremely false so he dropped the act, shaking his head and pushing Sam in the direction of the house. "Okay…okay Dean." Sam said, a slight laugh escaping his lips as they fell into stride together.

Dean reached the stairs first and knocked twice before pushing the kitchen door open and slipping inside, Sam close on his heels. The older hunter was sitting at the old wooden table with the monitor lit up and opened to an internet site and a steaming cup of coffee next to him. "You guys knockin now?" he asked in his gruff voice, causing Sam to smile and Dean to nod slightly.

"Well, there's no need to stand formality here. You boys know that." He stood up and grabbed two more mugs from the cupboard and placed them in the waiting hands of the boys standing in his kitchen. "I'm not gonna understand what the hell happened to you without looking boy, so open up buttercup." He finished as he stood in front of Dean expectantly. Dean raised his right eyebrow in irritation and narrowed his eyes at the bad joke, but he opened his mouth and waited for the inspection.

Bobby placed both hands on his cheeks and tilted his head down so he could see inside; he swallowed loudly as he looked at the mangled remains of Dean's tongue, although it appeared as though the muscle had been cauterized. He took a step back and inhaled as he dropped his hands away from Dean's face and looked over at Sam, his eyes reflecting his discomfort with this situation. "Well…it looks as though it's been cauterized and I can't see what's going on with the vocal cords, that would take an MRI…and since I lost my machine I think you may need to go to a hospital Dean." Dean shook his head emphatically 'no' and Sam just rolled his eyes in irritation at his brother's intense resistance to medical facilities.

Sam turned toward the coffee machine and then poured both himself and Dean a cup of the black liquid; he went to the fridge and then removed the cream that he knew Bobby kept there _just for him_. He 'doctored' his coffee and then handed the still undoctored coffee to Dean and leaned against the counter, sipping the liquid. "So Bobby, did you find anything on the net?" Sam asked as he savored the coffee. Dean took his cup from Sam and then sipped carefully on his own cup of _joe_, he watched Bobby's reaction carefully. Dean drank far slower than he had before he had to concentrate on where the liquid was inside his mouth, so that he didn't leak any down his chin or scald his tender throat with the hot beverage…but he could drink so that was at least something.

"Actually yes, I did find something." Bobby walked to the computer and then turned the monitor so they could see the article on the screen. "Two men were killed in two very funky ways in a town in Arkansas, one died in what looks like a plane crash while at a playground. The other man drowned in his office chair while at work. There were no witnesses, but this sounds like it could be our guy. However, if it is Osiris you boys need to get there quickly or he'll drop off the grid again." Bobby finished.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, "So even if we find him, how do we get him to reverse what he did to Dean?"

Dean's head swung around and his eyes crashed into Bobby's looking for the same answer. Bobby's eyes narrowed as he thought about that, he wasn't entirely sure. That was one answer that he hadn't been able to find yet, how they could reverse the judgment of a God. "Well, threatening him probably isn't a good idea, but maybe you can appeal to his sense of justice. What he did to Dean will cause a lot of other people to die, if he can reverse it, then maybe Dean can continue to save others." Dean rolled his eyes at that idea. The chances that Osiris was going to readjust his sentence just because they 'asked' nicely didn't seem very likely.

"Bobby, there has to be a better idea than that." Sam said as he stepped forward and leaned over the computer for a closer look at the monitor and the stories that were frozen there.

"Well if there is…I ain't got a clue what it is Sam…" Bobby turned toward Dean and then reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder, showing his support for the eldest Winchester. Dean's lips quirked slightly as he accepted the silent support of the man that had become his rock after his father had died. "I'll keep looking for something to use as leverage against Osiris Dean." He said as he turned and walked toward the aging white stove, where he pulled open the oven and removed a platter stacked with pancakes. Dean looked longingly at the platter and then turned away from the smell and sight of the food. Bobby saw the action and mentally kicked himself for not thinking about the fact that Dean couldn't eat normal food yet. Bobby had done some research on people that had had to have their tongues removed for one reason or another and all the research said that Dean could adjust and learn to eat normal meals by moving the food under his teeth with his fingers. But Bobby knew that Dean wasn't that far along in the acceptance of this 'problem' yet. "Sorry boy, I wasn't thinking." Bobby said as he moved toward the trash can. Dean reached out and grabbed his arm gently and shook his head, forcing a smile on his lips and tilting his head toward Sam's form hunched over the computer screen, oblivious to what was going on behind him. Bobby knew what he wanted; Dean wanted Bobby to make sure that Sam ate and ate well, even if Dean couldn't. He nodded and walked to the table placing the platter in front of Sam and then setting down some maple syrup and another plate to eat off. Sam's eyes were immediately pulled from the screen as he looked at the food and then they immediately searched for Dean's green eyes.

Sam's gaze landed on Dean's and he knew instantly that his brother was hungry, he had heard Dean's stomach in the car most of the way here. The tiny amount of soup that Dean had tried to force down hadn't done much to alleviate the hunger pangs and every grumble just made Sam feel guiltier that he had eaten a decent meal. "Dean, maybe we can put something in the blender?" Sam suggested.

Dean's face fell slightly as he thought that he would be eating basically baby food for a while, until he had learned how to move the food so he could chew it…and when he got to a point that he wouldn't care that other people were _watching_ him eat with this…_disability_. He shook his head 'no' and stepped out the door walking back to the Impala to remove their duffels, he needed a shower and he knew that Sam did too. So before they got back out on the road again he was going to make damn sure that they were at least clean and that Sam was well fed. Because no matter what happened to him, it was Sam that was important at this point, whatever they were able to do for him was icing on the cake. But he wasn't about to give up his own _'prime directive'_ which was to keep Sam safe and watch out for him. He pulled in a deep lungful of the icy morning air and pushed the trunk shut, this was going to be a long case…

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Thanks to everyone that reviewed I appreciate it. I will be updating this at least once a week, maybe more depending on time. The boys are headed to a new case that sounds like it might be Osiris, but is it? I guess we'll just have to find out. Oh and Dean will figure out the whole eating thing soon, so no worries about him becoming a skinny little version of himself. Frankly he just looks too damn good the way his normally._

**Please review. I thrive off the feedback.**


	4. Bobby's Place

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Storyline:** This story follows Sam and Dean as they deal with the aftermath of Dean's inability to 'Shut his cakehole', and the Egyptian god Osiris not only removes is tongue, as promised, but also his ability to make any sound at all, making Dean a mute. This is their story as they hunt for the god and try to deal Dean's new handicap. Can he hunt? Can they even find the god before the wall in Sam's head breaks down completely?

**Please Review: Also please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all mistakes are mine and unintentional...**

**Chapter 4**

_Bobby's Place_

Dean stood under the hot water allowing it to cascade over his sore muscles as he leaned his head against his arm and splayed his palm over the orange tiles in the shower stall. His thoughts returning to his last moments before his life had taken another crappy twist, when he was still struggling with his brother's lack of faith in him and his own failure to maintain that trust; Dean knew that once Sam was told about his involvement in the death of that monster/woman he wouldn't be so keen to help his big brother. In fact there was really good chance that Sam would throw hands up in the air and walk away from Dean...again. The guilt was tangible in its depth. Dean hadn't felt this horrible since he had learned of the deal between his father and the yellow-eyed demon…the one that had sent his father to Hell. The deal that had started the whole 'deal making' business where the Winchesters were concerned...at least that was what he had thought. Until he learned in one of his 'Back to the Future' trips, courtesy of the angel douche-bags, when he saw his own mother make the first deal that had totally screwed all of them. He closed his eyes as the pain of that still festering wound dug into his heart and ripped open barely healed scars. His eyes burned as tears formed behind them and he blinked several times to clear the sensation. _Dean Winchester does not cry._ He thought in slight irritation at his own inability to control his emotions at the moment.

"Dean? You about done in there?" Sam called through the closed door. Dean's mood sank even further as he realized that he couldn't even tell _Samantha_ to hold 'his' horses…he would be out in a damn minute. No more taunts thrown at his little brother in frustration, no more 'chick-flick' moments…although he proclaimed to hate them. He found that the absence of the ability to deny these 'brotherly moments' to Sam's face was pretty sucky. "Dean?" Sam called again and poked his head into the steamy bathroom, looking for a response of some sort from his brother. Dean raised his hand above the top of the shower curtain and proceeded to give Sam the 'one-fingered solute'. He smiled slightly as he heard his little brother chuckle softly and then the door closing quietly as Sam backed out of the doorway.

Dean turned the water off and pulled himself out of the shower, grabbing a soft green towel from the rack. It was one of the things that he had always appreciated about staying with Bobby, the towels. The man might skimp on a lot of things, but he bought the fluffiest, softest towels that Dean had ever had the pleasure of rubbing up against his body. He wrapped the towel around his waist after running in over his short hair, and turned to look in the fog smeared mirror, grabbing his razor as he looked at the amount of stubble growing on his face. Dean looked closer in the mirror and noticed that he had some bruising around his mouth and along his throat. But other than that there was no other real evidence that he had been injured recently. As long as he kept his mouth 'closed' no one would be able to tell what had happened to him…that was something he supposed. Unless they asked him a question, in which case would stare at them like an idiot and hope that Sam would answer for him. _That sucks. I don't want Sam answering for me like I'm some sort of invalid or something._ He turned back to the mirror and lathered up so he could get rid of the itchy beard that was trying to take over the lower portion of his face.

Once he was done shaving he grabbed his small black leather bag and exited the miniscule bathroom, leaving the door open so the steam could escape the small room. Sam was sitting on 'his' bed, the one nearest the window, he was looking through a book on Egyptian Gods: Myth and Mythology. He looked up as he heard his brother enter the room, his eyebrows drawing together in concern as he noticed that Dean had slight bruising on his chin and around his neck and that he also looked dehydrated as well. He stood up and closed the distance between them in two large steps, looking intently at his brother's face. Dean stumbled back a step, trying to put some distance between himself and his overly observant little brother…particularly uncomfortable with the close proximity considering he was only wearing towel.

Sam seemed to notice his discomfort and stepped away, though his eyes were still worried and he kept throwing glances in Dean's direction. Sometimes Dean wished that he could just blind his little brother...just for a little while and put those damn puppy-eyes out of commission. Dean huffed in irritation and turned to grabb a pair of boxers, dropping the towel and slipping into the clean clothes, never even thinking about the fact that Sam was still in the room. They had seen each other in every state 'undress' that it didn't even occur to him to be self-conscious anymore. As he was sliding a clean pair of socks onto his slightly chilly feet, he noticed that Sam was staring intently at the book again…his studious little brother did not show any signs that he was heading to the shower anytime soon. Dean stood up and crossed the room, stopping so that his stockinged feet were directly in front of Sam. "Yes Dean?" Sam said without even looking up.

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the book from his brother, closing it and tossing it onto his bead. "Hey!" Sam said indignantly. "I was reading that Dean." Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam and pointed at the shower, raising his eyebrows in what he hoped looked like an 'order'.

Sam's face scrunched together and his lips thinned as he understood exactly what his brother was doing. "Fine." He said flatly as he grabbed his own toiletries bag and headed into the room, pushing the door shut behind himself. Dean smiled slightly and grabbed his boots, walking to the stairs and hoping that Bobby might be down in the kitchen. He immediately smelled the food before he even got to the bottom of the stairs and his stomach growled hungrily. _Shut-up._ He thought with irritation as he walked through the living room into the kitchen, grabbing a chair and plopping down so he could lace up his boots. Bobby was standing at the stove, obviously making himself something to eat. He turned and smiled at Dean, "You smell better." He said easily.

Dean's face darkened as he made a face at Bobby, causing the older hunter to chuckle. "Well you do." He repeated. Dean grabbed a piece of paper and a pen 'Any new developments?' he wrote. Bobby read it over his shoulder.

"Nope. Just what I told you guys when you got here. I think that those deaths are Osiris, but I can't be absolutely sure at this point." He turned back to the stove and dropped some spices into a large silver pot that was boiling merrily away on the burner.

Dean's curiosity got the best of him and he stood and quietly went to see what Bobby was cooking. He leaned over the man's shoulder and looked into the pot, it was soup…and it smelled amazing. His eyes flickered up to Bobby's and he raised his eyebrows in question. Silently asking 'Is that for us?'

Bobby saw the unasked question and nodded, "Of course you idget… Like I'm gonna sit down and eat 2 gallons of soup on my own."

Dean smiled and moved away from the stove, settling himself back in the chair and reading through the information that Bobby had printed out on the God. None of it was making him feel more confident about their chances here. This guy was a real authoritarian…he didn't seem to care why a person had done the things they had…he just looked at whether or not the people felt guilty about their decisions. That thought caused Dean to stop as he wondered how it was that Osiris had managed to skip Sam. Dean knew that the kid felt guilty about the demon blood and the whole letting Lucifer out thing. So how had he managed to escape judgment?

Sam was just exiting the shower when he smelled the food wafting up from the kitchen. He took a deep breath and his mouth watered as his stomach rumbled. Sam pulled on a pair of clean-ish jeans and a t-shirt as he descended the stairs in search of the food. He stopped when he caught Dean's eyes as he rounded the corner and saw the unadulterated confusion raging around in his brother's eyes. Sam's head tilted to the side and he wandered over to where Dean was studying the research that Bobby had done. "You sure this is the guy Bobby?" he asked as he leaned over his brother and looked at the printouts. Dean punched him lightly in the chest to get him out his personal space. Sam reached up and absently rubbed the spot where Dean's knuckles had connected with his muscles. He pinched Dean back and then moved quickly out of Dean's shorter reach, he smiled slightly.

"That's everything that I can find on the guy Sam. He's pretty low key usually, just kinda pops up from time to time does the circuit judge thing and then falls off the grid again…for a long time. So you boys need to hurry and catch that SOB." Bobby finished as he set a large bowl of soup in front of Dean and another in front of Sam. "What is it?" Sam asked as he looked at the thick liquid, it smelled amazing.

"A pony…what the hell do you think it is. It's soup. Now eat." Bobby said.

Dean grinned at the barbs and then blew on the contents of the bowl, his stomach growling loudly as he lifted the bowl to his lips. He was careful to drink the liquid slowly, although he was starving…he managed to get most of it down without spilling any on his shirt. Bobby brought him a second bowl and told him to eat that too. Which Dean did…gratefully.

Once they had finished their soup, Dean unable to down a fourth bowl, though Bobby had tried, they grabbed their duffels and took the research from Bobby's capable hands as they headed back out to the Impala, intent on getting back on the road as quickly as possible. Bobby came rushing out behind them, carrying a large thermos. "Soup, in case you get hungry Dean." He said as he pulled the younger hunter into a hug, "Take care of yourself kid." He whispered and Dean nodded as he pulled away. Bobby repeated the hug with Sam and then watched as his 'adopted sons' climbed into the Chevy and Dean turned the key. The engine purred to life and Bobby couldn't help the pride that swelled inside him, he had taught Dean most of what he knew about cars…and the kid had obviously been paying attention.

They pulled out onto the old dusty road that would lead them back to the highway, Sam looked over at Dean and noticed that his brother was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Sam smiled as he realized that it was an AC/DC song. "Music Dean?" Sam asked.

Dean's eyes flickered back over to Sam's and he nodded as Sam pulled out the old shoebox of tapes and grabbed AC/DC's Back in Black, popping it into the classic stereo. The music flared to life inside the car and Dean smiled, the first real smile that Sam had seen since the incident with Osiris. _Maybe they would be okay after all._

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Next stop…Arkansas._

**Please Review. The feedback helps motivate me to write.**


	5. Dean's Trials

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story._**

**_This chapter contains some graphic imagery at the end, don't like...don't read. Not Slash._**

**Chapter 5**

_Dean's Trials_

The drive was long and boring. Dean couldn't annoy his little brother and he couldn't sing along with the music to amuse himself. So he just drove. And it was driving him a little crazy. Sam had made them stop at some health food store along the way where he had bought several high calorie protein shakes for himself _and Dean assumed_ in an attempt to get Dean to eat as well. They tasted terrible, like liquid cardboard, Dean found that kind of amusing, the fact that the 'healthy crap' that Sam liked still tasted terrible…even without his tongue. He smiled to himself as he thought of that particular little piece of irony. Sam would be pissed if Dean could tell him about it…but of course he couldn't. And he wasn't in the mood to write down every little detail that flitted through his head, even if it did mean that he could communicate with his little brother.

Dean saw a motel sign off the road just up ahead and he pulled into a parking lot that was in need of a lot of TLC, the front sign said they were at the 'agon Wheel Motel' he assumed that it was supposed to be the 'Wagon Wheel Motel' but the 'W' had obviously burned out. He pulled slowly up in front of the small building marked 'Office' and looked pointedly at Sam. Who in turned looked at him, raising his eyebrows as he huffed in irritation and slowly crawled out of the car going to get them a room for the night.

Sam walked into the small front office; there was a bug zapper in the corner giving off a brilliant and radiant blue light, there was also a small dog lying contentedly on the floor in front of the desk on a canine pillow. "Hello?" Sam called when he didn't immediately see anyone at the desk.

"Hang on boy. I'll be right out." A voice called from the back. Sam stood in the office, feeling the sweat trickle down between his shoulder blades as he thought of the cool shower that he would insist on as soon as they were checked in. A small bent over man ambled into view, his white hair sticking up all over the place, "Need a room?" he asked, smiling in the process as he settled behind the desk and pulled out an ancient looking ledger and opened it to a marked page.

Sam smiled, "Uh yes sir. Two queens if you have them available?"

The man looked at him through wrinkled pale blue eyes that twinkled with humor. "Oh I think I can manage that kid. You can have any room you want…including mine."

Sam smiled and nodded, waiting as the man did the necessary paperwork and Sam paid for their room, handing the old man a fake credit card. He felt a little bad about that…but they hadn't been hustling pool lately so there was no other way to pay for the room. The man handed him back a receipt and a key attached to a miniature wagon wheel key fob, "Room 7 around the back, you can park right in front of the room."

"Thank you." Sam said as he turned and walked out of the building, the little dog raising his head in curiosity and then deciding that that is too much work and dropping it back onto his paws. Sam opened the door of the Impala and crawled inside. "Room 7, it's around back."

Dean nodded and put the car in drive and rounded the corner, seeing their room with a large wagon wheel and a number 7 on the door. He pulled up and climbed out of the car, reaching above his head to stretch his aching muscles…he hated it when they had to do those twenty hour drives in one day. He heard his back pop in several places and the muscles pull as they were coaxed out of their twisted positions. He turned and looked at Sam, waiting for Sam to extricate his own long limbs from the car. Sam had reached into the back and pulled out his duffel back, before getting out of the car and tossing the key to the room over the roof of the Impala. Dean caught it deftly and turned to open the door, praying that there was at least air conditioning inside the room and that the water in the shower would be hot…and that there would be lots of it.

He pushed the heavy wooden door open and was pleased to note that while the place was spectacular, it was clean and it didn't reek of old cigarettes…a personal pet peeve of his. The beds were located against the far wall, and there was a small TV on a stand located between the two queens. He turned as Sam tossed him his duffel and locked the car, following Dean inside the room. He immediately went to the wall unit conditioner and turned it on high. Dean sighed in satisfaction as the small machine began to pump out blessedly cold air. He turned to see Sam staring at him, so he pointed at the bathroom and then at Sam's chest. Indicating that he thought that Sam should take the first shower. Sam shook his head, "Na…you drove so you should get the first shower." He watched as Dean nodded and grabbed his bag. "But leave me some hot water jerk…" the word was out before Sam realized his mistake…Dean's body froze as he realized that he couldn't respond with his patented 'Bitch' and his inability to do so caused a pained expression to settle on his face.

"Oh man Dean…I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking…" Sam said as he tried to undo what was a habit for them. Dean's eyes fell closed and he shook his head in sadness, setting his duffel down on the bed nearest the door, and pulling his over-shirt off as he sank down onto the comforter. He dropped his head into his hands and leaned his elbows on his knees as his shoulders slumped. Sam watched and mentally kicked himself for the slip, he wasn't thinking when he'd said it, and he'd just responded how he would have under any other circumstance.

What he didn't know was that it wasn't the joke that had made Dean sink down in sadness…it was the fact that Sam felt guilty for treating him the same way Sam _always_ had…their entire lives they had poked and teased one another. The fact that Sam now felt he had to censor the things that he could say to his brother, because he thought that Dean would get offended or that they would hurt his feelings…was difficult. '_That_' had made Dean feel heavier than he had since this whole thing started.

"Dean, just go take your shower." Sam said softly as he sat down on his own bed and reached down to pull his boots off his feet.

XXXX

The next morning found them at the morgue, looking at the mangled body of a man. He had obviously fallen from a great height, based on the injuries…except that he hadn't. The guy had been in his office and then keeled over dead…looking like an Airborne Ranger whose Para-shoot hadn't opened. Sam was talking to the Medical Examiner and Dean was reading through the report on the autopsy. Everything was similar to the events that had happened when Osiris was being a circuit judge that the hunters knew that they were in the right place at least. Dean noticed that the man had visited a local restaurant the a few days before his death…and so that was where Dean was headed.

Dean had argued with Sam…for a full sheet of paper as to why _he_ should be the one to go to the restaurant and why Sam needed to go and interview the witnesses. It should have been an easy argument…Dean couldn't _talk_ to the witnesses, therefor making it impossible for him to interview them. But Sam had been adamant; he didn't want to split up on this. Dean had won in the end and they _had _split up.

He was sitting at a table in the furthest corner from the door nursing a beer that he had pointed to on the menu and the waitress had gotten the message that he couldn't talk…bringing him the beverage with an expression of pity plastered on her young face as she set it down. Dean inwardly cringed at the reaction…_that_ is what he has to look forward to if they failed to fix this. Correction, if _he_ failed to fix this…a lifetime of women looking at him with pity in their eyes…and everyone else's too. He was on his second beer when a shadow fell across his table and he glanced up, his face turning from irritation to shock as Osiris smiled down at him. "Dean Winchester." He said as he pulled out the other chair and sank into it, his face never changing from pleasantly interested.

"I must say that I am a little surprised to see you here. To what do I owe this honor?" Osiris asked.

Dean's eyes narrowed as he grabbed the pen and a napkin off the table, "You don't have to write it down Dean…I can read your thoughts…remember?" Osiris said as he leaned forward and looked intently into Dean's green eyes. "Uh-huh…you want me to reverse what I did?" He leaned back again and picked up a breadstick from the basket in front of him, munching on it while he stared at Dean in a way that made Dean very nervous. "Well, I can't just reverse a judgment Dean. It doesn't work that way." He tilted his head and really _stared_ at Dean. "You have so much guilt inside you Dean. Guilt that you have never really dealt with…so I will propose this. I will consider reversing the 'sentence of silence' if you will concede to living every one of these 'deaths' that you feel so guilty about." Osiris listened to Dean's mental reaction of _What the Hell?_ He smiled, "If you can come out on the other side with a better understanding of their deaths…then I will reverse what I did." He heard Dean's immediate agreement, before he started emphatically nodding his head. "Just a minute Dean. This won't be easy, you will experience each of their deaths as though it is your own…you will know their thoughts and their fears and you have to accept them as your own…and lastly you will feel each of them to the marrow of your bones. Your brother won't know what's going on with you; he will only know that you are in a coma like state that he will be unable to wake you up from."

_Why can't I tell him before this starts? _ Dean mentally thought at the God.

"Because this is _your_ trial Dean. Not Sam's…" Osiris watched as Dean's face pinched in obvious concern about what this would do to his already mentally unstable little brother. "I warn you Dean…every death. Every single one that haunts you will be relived. Every injury, every fear, everything…you'll know it as though it is your own. I cannot tell you how long you will be unconscious…could be a day could be a year. It depends on how many times you have to relive the deaths before you can accept them as a necessary part of your life."

That got Deans attention, his eyes snapped back to meet the man across from him… _You mean I may have to experience them more than once?_ Osiris nodded and leaned back, folding his hands in his lap as he waited for Dean's decision. _Can I at least send him a text message?_ Dean asked silently.

Osiris considered this for a moment; he had never had a person ask if they could reverse a judgment before, although to be fair he rarely, if ever, gave out anything but a death sentence. So this was unchartered territory for him, but he figured if Dean could forgive himself for the choices in his life…then maybe he could truly move on. "Okay Dean. You can send the message, and then go back to the motel, lay on the bed and go to sleep. You're trials will start at any point from here on out. Don't wanna be somewhere public when your body collapses…trust me. It won't be pretty." Osiris said he stood up, grabbing another breadstick and turning to walk away. A silent thought brought his eyes back to Dean's, "No Dean, you must survive this, with you sanity intact. It will be...difficult."

And he was gone.

Dean rose quickly from the table and dropped the money for the beer onto his empty plate as he turned to quickly exit the dark room. He burst out into the waning sunlight and his eyes scanned the horizon for any indication that he was already inside his own head. When he saw none, he turned and ran back to the motel as fast as he could. His muscles were burning with fatigue and he was sweating profusely when he collided with the closed door of their room. He fished the key out of his pocket and thrust it into the lock, twisting the knob and rushing to his bed, grabbing his cell phone and quickly punching in a message to Sam.

*_Sammy, I found Osiris. He gave me a way to reverse this without having to die as a result…I can't explain it to you, I don't know how much time I have, just don't worry about me if you can't wake me up tomorrow. I'll be okay. I have to do this Sam. I have to be there to protect you and I can't do my job like this….Love you Sammy. Just wait for me. –Dean*_

Dean hit send on the message and pulled his boots off, setting them neatly at the foot of the bed. He lay down and moved to lean against the pillows, feeling his heart slow down as he tried to relax. His thoughts were going a mile a minute; he knew that Sam was going to be pissed with a capital 'P'. But this was something that he had to do…there was just no other option for him. He had done this to himself so he had to get himself out of it.

Sam received a text just as he pulled the Impala back into the lot at the motel, he turned the car off and climbed out of the classic vehicle, grabbing his phone off the passenger seat as he did. He locked the door and walked to their room, digging around in his pocket for the key as he opened his phone and clicked down to the message. It was from Dean. Sam's pulse sped up as he read the message from his brother. _He had found Osiris? And he had convinced the God to reverse the sentence in exchange for some other type of sentence?_ That didn't sound good to Sam. Before he could get the door open he heard his brother's gasp and a choking sound that sounded so much like pain that Sam was instantly trying to get inside. "Dean!?" he cried as he shoved the door open and was stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers body lying in a pool of blood and his side ripped open, like a set of claws had got him. Tears were leaking from Dean's closed eyes, and he was curled up around the wound…it looked so similar to the one that had killed Jo Harvell, that Sam was stopped dead as he stared at the bloody scene. Dean's body continued to arch and twist slowly as the ragged wound bled steadily. His face was a sea of agony as his mouth continued to move and without sound and his tears rolled steadily from his clenched eyes.

He watched as Dean's body twisted and his face reflected pain and despair and finally resignation and then it slackened, his mouth falling open. Sam watched, his confusion growing as he watched the wound on his brother's side slowly knit back together, the blood the only tangible reminder that Dean had been slashed open…that and the shredded t-shirt his brother was still wearing. Sam sank onto the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands as tears formed in his eyes and he tried to wrap his head around what he had just seen. He turned, looking at Dean's slack face and stood to check his brothers pulse, just as Dean's body arched violently and his muscles tightened. Dean's mouth flew open, but no sound emanated from it as he rolled to his side and pulled his knees into his chest. Sam's breathing stuttered when he saw the gaping wound at the base of Dean's spine, just above his belt line…centered and exactly where Jake had stabbed Sam nearly four years ago. The blood poured out of the wound soaking into the already saturated bedding.

Dean's mouth was moving, and tears were streaming down his face as his body went lax again nearly five minutes later and suddenly the wound healed itself, just as the other one had before…Sam watched the whole thing with astonishment. Dean was still on his left side when his body jack-knifed back onto his back and again Sam watched helplessly as something was thrust into Dean's abdomen, the wound gaping open as blood bubbled up from his stomach, leaking down his flanks…

"Oh God…Dean. What have you done?" Sam whispered as he watched the scenario play out in front of him.

TBC…

**Author's Note****_:_**_ So this is was the only way to appease a God without him choosing to kill off Dean. I'm thinking that Sam isn't going to take this well and that he will be searching for a way to save Dean from this 'living hell'. The next chapter is probably going to be a little graphic and bloody…sorry, but it has to be done so Dean can get his old life back._

_I will try and get the next chapter up quickly…because we all know that cliffhangers suck!_

**Please Review: They really make me think about how and where people want the story to go.**


	6. Death and Dying

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any __money__ from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains very graphic imagery_****_ throughout, don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**_Not Slash. _**

**Chapter 6**

_Death and Dying_

The first thing Dean noticed was that he was walking behind several shadows. The shadows of three people, the second thing that he noticed was the fear…the intense fear that he wouldn't make it back alive. That this would be the last time he was going to ever be okay.

This was the _place where _he would die.

The air was acrid and a dingy grey color stained the mid-morning sky, the street was covered with dust and smelled of sulfur and blood. He watched as the shadows moved stealthily, obviously trying to avoid detection…they failed. A slender young woman with dark brown hair stepped out of the shadow of the building, her eyes were blazing with shiny black irises she smiled at them, causing each of them to halt and Dean's fear to ramp up as he recognized the woman…she was a demon.

She threatened them and told them that they would lose, that there was nothing that they could do to stop the inevitable future. It had been set into motion when the universe was conceived. They were all simply pawns…predestined to play certain roles. She smiled and patted something next to her…_hell hound._ His mind supplied rationally and then his own memories of being ripped apart by a hell hound electrified his brain with a fear so bone deep that he was barely able to remain on his feet. The shadows turned and motioned for him to run; he took off at a sprint, shifting the shotgun into a better position. Dean heard one of the people behind him fall, and then the report of another shotgun as one of the shadows turned and fired on the invisible demon bitches. His fear shot up another notch, and he felt his heart stutter and scream a silent 'NO!' as he turned and ran back, leaning down to help the shadow to their feet. His own shotgun firing several times before he felt the razor sharp claws tear into his left side. Four bloody ragged wounds appeared in long gashes along his side. He screamed as the white hot agony spread through his body and the blood spilled from his stomach soaking into the ground. His head fell back in silent acceptance of his fate, _better him than the shadow. _He had always felt that way...he had wanted something more with one of the shadows...he wasn't sure which one and he wasn't sure what exactly he wanted...he simply knew that it could have been _more._

Suddenly he was being picked up in strong arms, his body twisting as the fiery pain jolted through his ribs, his hand clasping against the slippery organs that were threatening to spill onto the dusty ground. Dean's other hand clutched the shotgun tightly to his chest and bit his lips hard enough to split his lower lip, blood instantly spurting into his mouth as he tried to hold back the cries of pain. The shadow was saying something to him, telling him that he would be okay, that they were going to get out here and he would live. He wanted to laugh; he felt the hysteria bubbling up inside him…Dean knew that he wouldn't be making it out of here. He groaned as they found an empty building and rushed inside, he was set down against a wooden counter, his legs no longer functioning as he leaned against the particle board. The pain radiating through his body as waves of agony crashed into his joints and shifted between his ribs with every breath. And the fear and the loneliness that was spreading through his heart like a sickness was all encompassing.

Dean felt an irrational terror for one of the shadows in particular, and he felt something else too…love. It was stronger than the other emotions pulsing through his system, it was warm and bright and…unconditional. _Dean's thoughts snapped back to his own memories as he saw himself lean down and kiss Jo as she took the trigger from him. He saw it as though he was watching from a great distance, he felt his brain give in to the fact that she would die here and that he shouldn't have brought her here in the first place. It was his fault, he had unconsciously used her affection for him to his own advantage and once again someone else had paid the ultimate price. Just like she had nearly paid an ultimate price on that first hunt…the one that he should never have let her come on. His heart seized on the knowledge…his fault._

Suddenly he felt his thoughts shift violently back to the floor, he was again sitting there. There was warmth and an odd kind of numbness flowing through his chest. The blood was still oozing through the makeshift bandages on his side, they were holding his intestines in with a blood soaked ace wrap. And then….he felt himself slip away.

XXXX

Sam watched as the wounds healed again and again, his fear for his brother's life growing exponentially. He reached down and absently rubbed the scar on his left hand in an attempt to ground himself, his eyes flickering from Dean to the window and back to Dean again. His brother was lying quietly for the moment, his body healing from yet another death. The bed he was lying on looked like something out a horror movie, blood staining the sheets and having long since soaked into the mattress, ruining it. Some of them Sam recognized, he knew that the first one that he had seen had been Jo Harvells and the second had been his own; after an insane and terrifying abduction that had led to one horrible rainy cold…dark night in Cold Oak, the one that had irrevocably altered their lives. The third death, he still had yet to figure out...but knowing Dean, it could be just about anyone that he had failed to save over a lifetime of hunting. There had been one other time that Sam's life had been shifted in a new direction and that was on the night of November 2nd 1982, when Azazel had walked into his nursery and bled into his mouth.

_'You know you can't save your brother…nothing you do is going to change that...and deep down he knows it too.' The tricksters voice resounded inside his skull and then shifted to Lucifer's as Sam tried desperately to ignore it. 'Make you think that you're out…and then pull the rug out. You never left Sam…you're still with me…in the cage…you're my bunkmate...my little bitch...in every sense of the word...' _Sam's mind was cracking with the onslaught of memories…

The night that his mother had lost her life, burning to death on the ceiling of his nursery, her mouth opened in a silent scream as she died, had been one that Sam had carried inside him for all these years. It was one death that while his rational mind knew he couldn't not have prevented, his heart refused to believe it, had he never been born, none of this would have happened. Sam's thoughts were looping around and around, coming back to his mother…Dean's sacrifice…his callous disregard of that sacrifice when he chose Ruby...started the Apocalypse...and ultimately sacrificed his own soul for humanity. All the things that Sam had thought that he no longer felt guilty for, came slamming into his unprepared mind and these thoughts, these memories were bringing him to his knees, his hands flying to his temples as pain shot through his head. The last time he had felt this sort of pain was when he was still having the visions, images forced into his mind that he had no hope of controlling.

Sam's breath caught in his chest as the pain started to slowing recede and he fell to his hands and knees, trying desperately to simply breathe. Eventually he was able to control it enough to sit up and cast his red-rimmed eyes back in the direction of his brother, still lying on the bed…silent. _How could he have thought that he could escape the guilt of his past as easily as he had_…_hell? Yeah right, like that was enough to pardon the sins of his past._ He had thought that he'd accepted and to some extent been forgiven for his role in…life...

Sam's eyes were drawn back his big brothers form and he leaned forward as he saw something flicker across Dean's skin…like iridescent blue flame. Suddenly Dean's mouth was opened, along with his eyes and Sam watched helplessly as the blue fire engulfed his brother's form. And then the worst thing that Sam could ever have imagined happened…his brother started to burn.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Short Chapter I know, but I am still working on the next one and I thought that I would go ahead and post this little 'snippet' for you guys. Like I said this is going to get very dark…although Dean will be returned none the worse for wear…after a while. I may end up changing the rating because of that…_

**Please Review, Keeps me motivated.**


	7. Can't Lose You Brother

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any __money__ from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains very graphic imagery_****_ throughout, don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**_Not Slash. _**

**Chapter 7**

_Can't Lose You Brother_

Sam watched with a mixture of horror and terror as he was catapulted unwillingly into the past…watching Jessica burning on the ceiling of their apartment in Palo Alto. His breath shuddered in his throat and he was instantly thrusting his hands up over his ears, trying to drown out the hyperventilating breaths that were coming from Dean. The skin reddened and blistered as Dean thrashed on the bed…suddenly Dean's body stilled and Sam found himself unconsciously opening his eyes to look for the cause in the sudden change. He couldn't see anything, only that Dean wasn't moving, his body had gone completely still…his older brother's chest wasn't moving but the wounds _were_ healing themselves. Sam sank into the old plastic chair situated near the metal, fifties style table, staring at Dean's form…silently imploring his brother to wake up.

He hadn't known that Dean still carried a torch of guilt where Jessica's death was concerned. Sam knew that he himself had felt guilty for years after that tragic and horrific night, but he had always thought that Dean had accepted that Sam didn't blame him…_never had_. He knew that it couldn't be the death of their mother that had triggered that death scenario, it had to be Jess. So…now his problem was, how many of the people that they hadn't managed to save over the years were still haunting his brother? Sam dropped his head into his hands as he saw his brother take an easy breath, the first easy rise and fall of his chest that Dean had experienced for over an hour, his body having reverted to its uninjured state. If Osiris had wanted to punish both of them…_damn_…that son of a bitch had picked a devastating way to do it. Sam had never been good at watching his brother suffer, he had seen so much of it after their father died…and that particular thought sent a set of fears racing through his system. Sam knew that Dean had never really forgiven himself for their father's death…next to Sam's own...he was probably the most pivotal person that Dean had been unable to save. Although, his brother had found the cross-roads demon and managed to get Sam back…in the process they had inadvertently allowed their father to 'climb' up out of Hell…sorta rescuing him. But Sam knew that Dean hadn't ever really let that _guilt _go…had just buried the pain until he'd piled so many other 'disappointments' on top of it that he could leave it alone.

Sam leaned back and ran long fingers through his dark hair, allowing it to fall across his eyes as he maneuvered his blue-green eyes to back to his brother's still unmoving form. The only indication that Dean wasn't dead was the slight rise and fall of his chest. He felt the hysteria bubbling beneath the surface again as he was assaulted with the image of his brother with his chest ripped opened and his normally expressive green eyes glazed in death. _Oh God….I can't go through that again._ He thought as an almost tangible pain shot through his chest and pierced his heart. As much as Dean irritated the shit out of him…and he did…Sam couldn't imagine what his life would be like without the presence of his snarky older brother. They had faced so many things together…things that neither of them should have been able to survive, but they had…more than that, they had won…against all odds. _Heaven and Hell _had not been able to defeat the Winchester brothers when they were united…and Sam had been sent to the cage as a result of that union.

He knew that his brother had thought that he was back after a year and that Dean had immediately given up a life that he was carving out for himself with Lisa to help Sam. But then they had learned that Sam had been brought back without a soul and that he didn't give a rat's ass about his brother. Oh he knew that he _should_ care about Dean, that is wasn't_ normal_ that he didn't, but he hadn't talked to Dean…and instead…his older brother had put the pieces together. People that thought that Dean was 'dumber' of the two of them didn't know them very well. Dean was fairly brilliant with his ability to reason out a solution. And then Dean had accomplished something that shouldn't have been remotely possible. He had found Death…the big guy…big daddy reaper himself and convinced him to retrieve Sam's soul from the cage.

That year of 'lost memories' had haunted Sam to the point that he had tried to figure out what he had 'forgotten' and been rewarded with a small taste of the living hell that had been Lucifer's cage. He still woke up on random mornings with the feeling of his skin melting off his face, the fire spreading rapidly up his torso and climbing into his long hair, igniting it as it travelled against gravity. The Cage that he had been inadvertently stuck in with Michael and Lucifer as they battled out their mutual anger and resentment against one another on an almost cosmic scale. Most of the time they took their frustration with each out on Sam…his soul was so severely damaged that Death had had to put up a wall, to protect Sam's mind from those 'nasty ' memories…and then Castiel had brought the Hell wall tumbling down in his misguided attempt to control Dean…_it hadn't worked._ The angel hadn't understood that Dean couldn't be controlled…not when he thought he was in the right. His older brother would fight to the death for the things that he believed in…and he would fight equally hard against the things he knew were wrong…and Castiel had been wrong.

So now Sam was stuck with the resurfacing 'cage' memories, his actual _time_ in the cage, and his brother's _guilt_ for having 'let' him jump in the pit in the first place. Although, it didn't appear that was one of the _deaths_ that Dean would be reliving…or at least Sam prayed that it wasn't. His eyes were pulled back to the still quiet form of his brother and he blinked rapidly in frustration at their constantly _fucked_ up lives, his hand ran across his face as he tried to bring his fractured mind back to the problem at hand. _Bobby…_ He would call Bobby, maybe he could bring some of that Afric…._Oh shit! We have some in the trunk._ Sam's brain supplied the information and he was too preoccupied to wonder where exactly that knowledge had come from.

He jumped to his feet, "I'll be right back Dean." He stated as he ran for the door, throwing it open and rushing to the trunk of the Impala. Sam riffled through hidden compartment searching for the bottle that he somehow knew was back there. They had kept it on hand after the whole incident with Bobby all those years ago. It had come in handy on a few other occasions where they needed information from an unconscious or comatose patient. His fingers brushed past Dean's sawed off shotgun…the one that they had found in the storage unit after he got back from Hell and Sam felt his emotions rise again at the thought that he wouldn't see it in Dean's hands again. _No…he wouldn't think like that. _

Sam's fingers finally closed around the cool glass of the African Dream-root and he pulled it from the soft leather it had been wrapped in. He gently dropped the trunk lid and jogged back to the room, he heard Dean's reaction before he even made it back into the room. The gagging and the gurgling sounds making their way into the parking lot made Sam want to collapse and cover his ears. His legs stilled of their own volition and he inhaled deeply, pushing himself to enter the room. Sam didn't want to know what Dean was suffering now and he knew that he didn't want to see it…he already had so many images of Dean dying…many of them coming from the trickster…that he could have a different nightmare every night for the next year and never repeat a single death scenario.

When Sam finally rounded the corner and stepped back into their motel room, he nearly dropped the glass bottle as his eyes found his brother's taunt and arched body. Dean's eyes were being burned out his skull and he was again bleeding from a severe knife wound to the stomach…_this time_ Sam knew exactly which death Dean was reliving. They had both felt extremely guilty after Pamela's death…but Dean had carried that burden so much heavier than Sam. Mostly because they had only brought her into their messed up world because Dean wanted…no Dean needed to know _what_ had brought him back from Hell…an angel...Castiel. That had been their introduction to another level of the supernatural that they had never suspected even existed...angels. Although looking back, they should have suspected it, since there were demons...it made sense that there was an antithesis to demons...angels. But no one that they had ever known had ever seen the winged bastards, so neither Dean nor Sam had been particularly ready to believe in them...at first.

The acrid smell in the room made Sam want to vomit, but he bit the bile back down in his throat as he crossed to the sink. He turned the water on full at its hottest setting and waited with waning patience for it to heat up. Once it had he put the root in the steaming water and watched as it dissolved into the liquid, he crossed quickly to his brother, trying not to look at his face. The eye sockets were blackened and his face was contorted in agony as his mouth worked and no sound emitted. Sam reached down and pulled a few of Dean's hairs from his head and plunked them into the hot liquid. He walked around to his bed, sitting on the edge as he shot a quick text to Bobby, telling him exactly what he was doing and why. He didn't want to talk to Bobby directly because he knew that the older hunter would want him to wait to do anything until he could be there to back Sam up.

Sam wasn't willing to wait, he had to talk to Dean and try to reason with Dean…and that was going to have to happen inside his brother's head. He gulped back the bitter yellow brew and laid back waiting for it to send him inside Dean's world…he didn't have to wait long.

Sam entered a world that made no sense to him...Dean was everywhere and nowhere. He could sense his brother in the very fabric of the room he entered, but he couldn't see Dean yet...he simply knew that this _was_ Dean. His eyes flickered around the small room and he was immediately tackled from behind. Sam fell hard onto the..._What is that? Gravel? Inside a house..._but then he was no longer inside a house, he was in Bobby's garage and the Impala was in the center of the room. He looked at the car and then at the room itself, the car was normal...the room was not. He tried to pick himself up off the floor when he felt something settled painfully between his shoulder blades and push his face back into the gravel. The sharp rocks grinding into his cheek as he felt the blood trickle from where a couple of them had actually cut into his skin.

"What the hell are you doing here?" A voice that Sam would recognize anywhere growled out from above him, never alleviating the pressure on his back.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Sam to the rescue. Not sure whether or not Dean will appreciate it and how will Osiris take this intrusion on his plan to 'cleanse' Dean of his guilt. More soon…_

**Please Review: I like to know what you guys think.**


	8. The Mind's Eye

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story.  
_**

**_ Not Slash. Some bad language throughout. You've been warned.  
_**

**Chapter 8**

_The Mind's Eye_

Sam heard his brother's voice and felt the heel of Dean's boot press painfully into his back, holding him to the ground. "Dean?" He said quietly. Sam knew better than to startle his brother, that was a good way to wind up permanently dead…by accident of course…but still dead. And one of the things that had stuck with him after the last time he'd used the Dream-root was that if you died inside the dream…_you died for real._ Sam felt the boot lift marginally and the weight shifted slightly to the left… "Sammy?" A gravelly voice that Sam had never been so grateful to hear as he was at that exact moment. He felt a relieved sob burst from his chest as emotion rushed through his system and exploded from his lips. "Yeah…Dean." He managed around the onslaught of emotions. The pressure was instantly gone from his lower back and an arm was grasping his shoulder and rolling him over exposing his chest to Dean's probing fingers. He was obviously looking for injuries, that was what Dean did. Every time that he thought Sam might be injured he would roll him over and search Sam's body for anything that his little brother might be hiding from him.

"Sam…what the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked as he gently pulled his _not-so-little_ brother to his feet, Sam's breath shuddering through his body as he tried to gain some semblance of self-control. Dean's fingers were clenching his shoulders and his forest green eyes were searching Sam's blue-green gaze for answers...and lies.

"I had to come Dean." He said quietly dropping his blurry eyes, unable to meet his brother's intense scrutiny any longer. Sam found his gaze shifting around the garage…it was just as he remembered it…and yet there was something so disturbingly off about the place...something prevented Sam from really believing that this was Bobby's and he couldn't quite accept that they were really safe. He knew that the root would affect his mind within the dream and that there was a high probability that Dean didn't even know that this was all inside his head. The weirdness would make total sense to Dean, but look incredibly off to Sam.

"Why Sam?" Dean looked genuinely puzzled as he shifted from his right foot to his left foot and tilted his head to the side in an attempt to reason the answer out of his cryptic little brother.

Sam shook his head. "What do you remember Dean?" He asked as he brought his attention back to Dean's face. Part of what was wrong was how Dean was dressed…Dean only ever wore t-shirts, levis, and over-shirts. But here, in this place, he was wearing a pair of plaid shorts and a creepy button down shirt with a bow-tie…the attire made absolutely no sense to Sam and looked seriously ridiculous on his usually 'oh so cool' older brother.

Dean's eyebrow's shot up into his hairline and he tried to smile as memories floated aimlessly through his mind…but he couldn't connect them. There was no reasonable explanation for where he was or why he couldn't remember how he had gotten there in the first place. He looked down and pulled his eyebrows together as he struggled with memories that were on the tip of his tongue…but it was like trying to grab water, just as he thought he had them. They would slip through his fingers into a puddle on the floor and he would frantically try to gather them together again…only to fail once again. But the one memory that he would never forget was Sam…his responsibility…his baby brother…_Sammy._

"I remember you Sam. But that's about it." Dean finally said through clenched teeth. He was so frustrated that he wanted desperately to hit something…not Sam. But any other object was fair game.

Sam inhaled in disbelief as he shook his head and shifted his hands to pull them through his long hair in irritation. "Dean you made a deal with an Egyptian God…that's why you're here." His brother looked at him as though Sam had lost his mind.

"What the hell are you talking about Sam?" Incredulous green eyes bored into him.

Sam bit his lip, trying to think of the best way to address the lack of knowledge and memories with his less than overly analytical older brother. "You had your tongue and your ability to speak taken by this God…and you were searching for way to get them back. Apparently he found _you_ and made a deal…you texted me. But by the time I arrived…you were already gone."

Dean snorted, "I'm not gone Sammy. Hell, I'm right here in front of you." That was just like his brother...make a joke when his life is on the line. _Son of a bitch..._

Sam was just getting ready to tell Dean the rest of the story, when the whole scene shifted. Suddenly he was back in the warehouse where he and Dean had been tracking the '_con-worm on steroids'_. Dean was leading the way through the duty warehouse and suddenly he _wasn't Dean_ anymore. His gun came up instantly as he started talking to someone that Sam couldn't see…but then again he didn't need to. He knew whose death this was…Gwen Campbell's. '_Oh God…Dean…'_ Sam thought as the anguish Dean felt at the death of that woman was nearly palpable in the air between them. He watched with a rising horror as Dean suddenly slumped to the ground…his lower body twitching as a bullet wound appeared from nowhere in his lower abdomen. The blood gushed from the wound and he groaned in pain as Sam was instantly kneeling next to him, cradling his dying brother in his arms…_God this all feels so familiar…just like with the trickster._ Sam struggled to remain coherent as he held his brother and tried to soothe him with words that he wasn't even thinking about…just saying out loud.

"Dean…this wasn't your fault. Gwen didn't die because of you. She was killed by that monster…the one that Eve created. You couldn't have saved her and you couldn't have known." Sam whispered as Dean's glassy and pain filled eyes finally flickered up to meet his.

Dean's blood covered fingers shot out and traced Sam's jawline, his eyes filling with tears as he nodded slightly. "I should've been able to resist it Sam…it never should have taken control like that." Dean muttered as his voice cracked and became weaker as the blood continued to flow through Sam's fingers and mixing with the dirt on the floor beneath them.

"No Dean…her death was collateral damage. It wasn't your fault. " Sam tried to convince his brother of his innocence in their cousins death…finally he saw something shift in Dean's eyes an acceptance that maybe it hadn't been his fault after all. Maybe he was like one of those people that they…_what was it that they did?_

Dean stared at Sam as he felt his body going weaker with the blood loss. He knew that he didn't have long left…and that there was something that he needed to say to Sam. But for the life of him…_or the death_…he though ironically…he couldn't remember what it was. His breathing starting to rattle in his chest, his father had always called it '_death rattles_'…huh…since when had he started to remember his father? _Wait when had he forgotten his father? _He heard Sam talking to him, trying to tell him something…what was it?... Oh yeah. That he wasn't at fault…his mind wrapped around that one thought and he found that maybe he wasn't actually responsible for Gwen's death. His eyes started to frantically search for his brothers face…finally settling on it as his lower body lost all feeling and he was floating in a warm pool of something…he wasn't sure what. "Didn't mean…to…Sammy…." He whispered as his last breath rattled through his system. Dean's eyelids fluttered shut and his head listed to the side and suddenly he was gone...no like literally _gone..._disappeared.

Sam shot to his feet and frantically threw his eyes around the room, searching for his brother's body. "Dean!" He called the strain in his voice evident as his scream echoed off the surrounding walls. He was spinning in circles, his hair flying out around his head making him look more than a little crazy…and maybe he was.

"Sam…" Osiris's voice penetrated his fractured thoughts and grounded him as he stopped suddenly and reached out for the wall to steady himself as the dizziness receded. "You shouldn't be here Sam. This was your brother's trial." The God's voice was thick with reproof as he narrowed his eyes in disappointment at Sam. Sam's eyes were drawn to the landscape…they weren't in the warehouse anymore. The view was now of mountain's shifting into an endless blue ocean with no actual transition from one to the other...and it was making Sam a little nauseous.

"What are you doing to my brother you son of bitch?" He managed as he squeezed his eyes shut and felt his knees buckled beneath him as he simultaneously dropped painfully to the unforgiving ground. His hands flew to his head as the pain ratcheted through his mind and settled painfully at the base of his neck.

"Now Sam…is that anyway to talk to a God?" Osiris asked as he strolled around Sam, circling him until he was back in front of the youngest Winchester. "Very well. What is it that you want to know?"

Sam struggled to form a coherent sentence, eventually landing on… "How do I save my brother?"

Osiris inhaled deeply and looked at Sam with sadness and pity. "You cannot save your brother Samuel…only he can save himself."

"It's Sam…and what does that even mean asshole?" he managed around the receding pain in his head. Sam was still kneeling and the landscape was still collidescoping as the colors were rapidly shifting from light to dark and back again. Sam felt the pain increase, tendrils of electricity shot through his head pulsing behind his eyes and he involuntarily cried out as he fell forward, the palms of his hands shredding on the sharp rocks beneath him.

"Careful how you talk to me Sam. I am a God and you…are nothing in here." Osiris turned from Sam and pulled in a deep breath, like a parent trying to steady their patience with a petulant child. "I'll tell you what Sam…Dean is just getting ready to experience another death…if and I do mean _if_ you can convince him beyond all doubt that it was not his fault…not only will I let you go. But I will return your brother to you…whole and with his voice intact."

Sam felt the power gather within him as he pushed himself back to his feet, taking control of the dream world that was Dean's head. He turned and looked the God in the eyes, "Do I have your word?" Sam asked as he rubbed the blood from his hands onto his pants and shifted his weight, unconsciously preparing to 'attack' should it be necessary.

Osiris smiled and lifted one eyebrow in question at Sam's _preparation._ "No need for that Sam. You have my word. If you can convince Dean that this next death was not his fault…that it simply happened and is part of a larger picture that you are both a part of…then I will return him."

Sam watched the man for anything that would indicate that he was being lied to. He saw nothing. There were no tell-tale signs that Osiris was trying to trick him. "How do I find him?"

Osiris smiled. "Don't worry Sam. When the time is right, you'll know." Suddenly he was gone and Sam was left standing in world that was bending in on itself. Rainbows of light were reflecting from pools of water that weren't even really there. Classic rock and roll was playing softly from the fluffy white clouds, _was that...Metallica?..._that were moving lazily above his head. Sam's eyes were drawn to the constant movement of the land around him. He heard a rumble in the distance that sounded suspiciously like the engine of the Impala and he could swear that he was smelling…what the fuck…leather? _What the hell is this Dean?_ He asked himself. Sam spun around and looked off in the distance and noticed that his older brother was standing on the edge of a lake…a lake filled with…._Holy Shit! Is that blood?_ _Only my brother…_

TBC…

**Author's Note****_: _**_ Dean's salvation lies in his acceptance of the past. Which death will be the one that can set Dean free? The next chapter will explain all that and I will try and get that up quickly. Thanks for reading._

**Please Review: They fuel my muse. **


	9. What the Hell

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any __money__ from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains some graphic imagery_****_ throughout, don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**_Not Slash. _**

**Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so if there are errors, I apologize ahead of time.**

**Chapter 9**

_What the Hell?_

Dean watched the water/blood move with the unnatural wind on the top of the lake as he waited for…._what? What was he waiting for? And why couldn't he remember anything…And where the hell was Sammy?_ He spun around in circles until his eyes finally fell on his younger brother, a slow smile forming on his lips as he turned away from the bloody lake. Sam was walking toward him, but Dean couldn't hear what Sam was saying…he could see Sam's lips moving, but there was no sound. _Huh…weird. _He thought as he moved down the rocky slope, his feet slipping on the loose shale as he finally slid to the bottom. Sam stepped up in front of him, his face a mask of concern. Although that wasn't so unusual, not for Sam…he was always worried about something. He wore his feelings around on his face…plastered onto his 'puppy-dog' eyes and within the tension creases on his forehead. Dean liked to think that he was better at not showing his emotions than his little brother, but sometimes he knew that he was every bit as transparent to Sam as Sam was to him.

The rain that started to fall was cold and it was…purple? Dean didn't even like the color purple…well not that he would ever admit anyways. _What the hell…_ Dean could see some things in the landscape that simply weren't right in this place…where ever _here_ was. Trying to pick out all the tiny little oddities was like looking for a needle in a haystack. That was a different problem; all on its own, Dean wasn't sure why he was seeing things that were _odd_ in the first place. His memories were jumbled and they were shifting so rapidly that he was having a hard time hanging onto a coherent thought for more than a few minutes. The one thing that _did_ remain constant was thoughts of Sam…everything else seemed more fluid; constantly flowing in and out of his conscious thoughts. He watched as Sam settled directly in front of him.

"Dean? You okay?" Dean barely heard the words his brother uttered over the rising wind and the swirling of air and dust that was racing through the valley that he now found himself standing in. It was weird, he hated being in _nature_, always had. Ever since he was young and his father had made them train in the woods and Sam had been injured and nearly died due to septic shock by the time they got him to the hospital. All the memories of Sam and his father slammed into Dean's head and forced to him to his knees with the intensity of the pain and the memories that were sent crashing through him. He brought his both hands to his temples and dropped his head as he tried to breathe through the pain. Sam was immediately kneeling in front of him, his hands resting gently on Dean's shoulders as his worried blue-green eyes searching Dean's body for injuries. He was trying to make sense of what was happening to Dean…Dean could see that, but he couldn't explain it to himself, how could he be expected to explain it to Sam?

"Dean! Come on man…what's going on? I don't know how to help you." Sam was rambling and his voice was rising in octaves as he stared at his brother. And Dean knew that he wanted an answer…but he couldn't give his little brother one…he didn't understand what was going on himself, he was trying, but the answers were just beyond his mental 'fingers'. Finally Dean felt the pain start to recede; he looked up he was surprised to see that he was in a hospital…when he glanced around he was horrified to realize that this was the hospital that he had nearly died in five years ago. The one he had been admitted to after the accident and the whole disastrous encounter with the yellow-eyed demon…something had happened that night…. His mind was still sifting through memories when it suddenly landed on his brother's shocked expression. Sam was casting his eyes about in horror as he too made the connection with the building that they had instantly found themselves in.

Dean was looking in Sam's eyes when suddenly Sam was no longer in front of him…it was the janitor with pale yellow eyes and he was taunting Dean with the knowledge that someone would die…_and soon_. He only had one option to save this person. He could sell his soul. Funny how it never even occurred to Dean to worry about what the aftermath of this deal would be. The over-whelming thought was that this person had to live…there was simply no other option…whatever he had to do to ensure that life…he would.

He was shifted again and now found himself on walking into an empty hospital room, but the room was _wrong._ The bed was twisted metal and burned sheets, the windows showed only huge rolling hills that were an unnatural red and had even been burned black in some places. It was almost as though a fire had flashed through the valley and then jumped from ridge to ridge, scorching some places while completely missing others. The room was bathed in a low orange glow and there was a man standing on the other side of the bed. Dean's eyes were drawn to the butter yellow eyes of the demon and he knew that these were his last moments…he just wished that he could see Sam one last time.

XXXX

Sam's nerves were shot. He was frantically searching the hospital for wherever Dean had been instantly transported to. He knew that this was the place that his father had given up his soul for his eldest son…and Sam also knew that this was the final death that Dean would have to accept to earn his right be returned to normal. Sam was scared. He understood that this death would make all the others appear like they were walks in the park. Because with John Winchesters death also came the trip through hell and the eventual emergence in the cemetery in Wyoming…right before Sam had learned that Dean had done the exact same stupid thing his father had…he had sold his soul to save Sam. _Son of a bitch…_ He thought as he ran through yet another empty room and burst into an equally empty stairwell.

"DEAN!" Sam called over and over as he skidded around walls and slid into desks as he search frantically for his brother. There was no way that this could be worse than his brain was imagining…and he should have known not to tempt the fates with that particular thought. Sam rounded a corner and he was cloths-lined by none other than Lucifer. Sam felt the rock solid arm slam into his chest and send him crashing painfully to the ground, his ankle twisting painfully as he landed in a heap on the cold pale green tiles. "Shit…" he swore as he tried to catch himself and found that he was instead grabbing his injured leg and his eyes shot up to meet the mocking blue gaze of the fallen angel.

"Sammy." His face was scrunched together in a sneer as he smiled down at the larger man. "Did you really think that this was going to be any easier on you than on your brother?" He folded his arms and squatted down in front of Sam, "Nope. You're gonna have to work to get to your brother. First thing…get past me."

Sam turned agonized eyes to the floor as he thought of what his brother might already be going through. He needed to get to Dean and if that meant that he had to go through this asshat…then so be it.

"Where's my brother?" He growled as he pulled himself cautiously to his feet. Sam grabbed a hold of a counter that was off to his left and gained his balance while trying to put as little weight on his ankle as possible. Lucifer merely chuckled at his bravado and raised an eyebrow in a mockery of Dean's trademark way of questioning Sam.

"Yeah…so not gonna help you Sam." He said as his voice dripped with contempt.

Sam's teeth were clenched as he started to move down the dark hallway, away from Lucifer and toward the room that his father had been assigned to. He barely remembered where it was, but as he leaned against the wall for support and limped away he heard Lucifer laugh behind him. "You're not going to like what you see Sammy…"

Sam stopped and allowed his eyelids to fall closed…he was absolutely sure that he wasn't going to like what he found on the other end of this hallway. He inhaled deeply and started moving again, like it mattered what he wanted…he had to help Dean. There was very little chance that he would be okay with what he was about to learn first-hand about his father's time in hell…and there was a good chance that he was going to learn more than he ever wanted to know about Dean's time on the rack as well. _Freakin Winchester luck…_

TBC…

**Author's Note****_:_**_ So Sam is gonna have to get around Lucifer to get to Dean…and Dean is gonna have to suffer his father's fate until Sam can get there. Short chapter, I'm almost down with the next one, so it should be up fairly quickly. I promise to make the next one longer to compensate for this shorter one. I wanted to give you guys an idea of where they are and what they are up against. Because really… when do the Winchester brothers ever catch an honest to god break._

**Please Review: They make me sit and write….honestly they do.**


	10. Living in Hell

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains VERY graphic imagery_****_ throughout, to include hell!torture. Don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**_Not Slash. Rating may need to be upgraded to _M_ in reflection the graphic nature of this chapter.  
_**

**Chapter 10**

_Living in Hell_

Dean's first coherent thought was of pain…nothing more than pain. It was everywhere inside of him, at an almost cellular level, he struggled to push his leaden eyelids open and glance around the room. But his stubborn body refused to cooperate. The pain was keeping him somewhat focused, but it was also causing his mind to wander simply to get away from the tortured flesh. The second thing he noticed was the rancid smell that seemed to permeate his senses. It was like he was in a sulfur factory and they were pumping the yellow substance into the air…like oxygen or something. He had no clue where he was and this fact caused his training to start kicked in without him even thinking about it, causing him to listen more intently to the noises around him, trying to discern exactly where he was and what he would likely be waking up to. He heard screams in the distance, awful hopeless sounds that filled his body with anguish, and the rolling thunder that was somewhere off in the distance…he heard chains clinking as they swayed above him in the heated wind. There were bright flashes of light that lit up his closed eyelids and caused him to clench his lids together even tighter to avoid the harsh and rapid flickers of what appeared to be lightning.

One single thought kept repeating itself through his head and it made him force his eyes open…_Save him…savehimsavehimsavehim…._

Dean struggled and finally convinced his body to listen to him enough to get his eyes opened. They slid apart and he was immediately assaulted with brilliant hues of color and intense white light. He slammed his lids closed again and inhaled the acrid air, steadying himself again and cracking his eyes open once more.

"I see you're awake, Winchester. About time. I was getting verrrry bored." A voice muttered…and there was a sudden burning along his abdomen as something smooth slid effortlessly across his naked flesh. That was the first time that he noticed that he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing on his upper half. That realization caused his eyes to flicker down, looking at his naked torso, as he fought the burning slices of pain as the blade was being drawn over the taunt flesh and the blood that spilled down and soaked into his jeans waistband, the pants were hanging low enough on his hips that the top of his ass was exposed to the heated air and the muscles of his lower abdomen were visible above the drooping jeans.

His feet were also naked of both shoes and socks; he felt the heat from the air seeping into his flesh and tickling feel of the sweat that was rolling down his chest and into the wound, burning and sending flashes of agony through his tortured system. His eyes flashed up and connected with an uknown man's…he was tall with a harsh face, but it was the eyes that really caught Dean's attention…they were a brilliant white…no pupils, no iris…just the white of the sclera. He would have shrunk back from the man if he could move, but he was hooked to the rack he was laying against. _No like literally hooked to the damn thing. _There were iron meat hooks through his wrists and his ankles, _which certainly explained the extreme amount of pain he was in_. But it wasn't the physical wounds that were tearing him apart…it was the thought that he had failed…he had failed to save someone…but for the life of him he couldn't remember the name...and that name was important.

Okay, so the whole having holes in his memories was really starting to piss him off, Dean ground his teeth in frustration as he tried to grab a hold of the floating information. The intense throbbing pain wasn't helping him focus by any means. The man tilted his head and glared at Dean's apparent disregard for his words. He reached forward and suddenly dragged the sharp curved blade across the hunter's chest again, splitting the skin and watching with pleasure as more of the young man's blood covered his chest, sliding down until it was dripping from his toes into a rapidly forming puddle beneath the rack.

"Arghh…." Dean managed to bite off his cry as he clenched his eyes shut and allowed the white hot agony to subside somewhat before he forced them open again and stared daggers at the man in front of him.

"What…do you…want…freak?" he ground out through his teeth as he tried to focus on the intense hatred for the man standing in front of him. Dean still had no idea who the man was or why he hated him so much…but he did. Down to the very marrow of his bones Dean _hated_ this man.

"You agreed to be here Dean…you did it to save him. Do you remember?" The man said, his voice held a slight hint of an accent that Dean couldn't place and the man's body was relaxed with the absolute assuredy that he couldn't be hurt here...not in this place.

Dean was getting flashes of memories…he saw a man in a bed…a hospital bed and he was dying. He saw a deal being struck and the complete and utter devastation of that knowledge rampaged through his mind. He felt the emotions flood through him as he watched how easy the decision to suffer for an eternity to save that dying man had been. How there had simply been no other choice for him. He had to save this man…the dying man. He had an important purpose in life…he was the protector of another…_Sammy_. The name slammed into his pain wracked mind and made him groan with the force with which it implanted itself in his head.

"Sammy…." He whispered as the man rammed a white hot poker through his left shoulder, singeing muscle, sinew, and scorching the bone black as he nodded at Dean. Dean couldn't hold in the cry of agony this time…he howled his horror and his rage into the red tinted atmosphere; his head falling forward onto his chest in utter defeat. This was the deal that had had to be struck to save Sam…his protector had to live, and no matter what the cost he would make sure that happened. Dean knew that this was the price for his brother's survival…_an eternity in hell._ It was a price that he would pay a thousand times over if it meant saving Sammy.

XXXX

Sam rushed along the walls of the hospital, Lucifer in tow. He was talking about the cage and all the fun that they had had and how he intended to torture the shit out Dean as soon as he was able to. Sam growled at the man to '_Shut the hell up!'_, but it hadn't mattered the son of a bitch just kept talking. Sam ran faster, his ankle throbbing in pain as he rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and found himself face to face with the gates of hell. He stumbled to a halt and stared at the massively twisted black iron gates…his eyebrow's coming together in anger as he noticed that a key was required to enter the realm. _Of course there would be key…Dean wouldn't allow just anyone to access these memories…particularly me._ Sam thought as his shoulders slumped slightly in a moment of despair.

"See, I told you Sam. There's nothing you can do to save Dean." Lucifer shrugged his shoulder in indifference and went back to singing 'Stairway to Heaven'. Sam used to like the song too…now it just made him want to vomit. Of course the smell that was wafting through the gates might have had something to do with the nausea as well. His nose wrinkled in disgust as the putrid stench increased with each step he took into the 'hell-realm'. Sam's arm came up and covered his nose and mouth in an attempt to breathe easier.

"That won't help you Sam." Lucifer said with a laugh. He was getting a real kick out of watching Sam suffer and he wasn't trying to hide that fact. And it was pissing Sam the hell off.

"Why don't you just leave!" Sam cried in frustration as his eyes met the mocking blue gaze of the fallen angel.

Lucifer shrugged and leaned against the mangled iron, "Where's the fun in that? I told you before, it's not like we have cable in the pit. All I have is you." He stood up and leaned into Sam, causing the younger Winchester to stumble back a few steps to put some space between them. "I think this is one of my best scenarios though…don't you?"

Sam's eyes narrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Lucifer smiled back at him, "Oh you'll see soon enough Sam. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

"What the hell does that mean!" Sam was losing patience with all this cryptic talk. He just wanted to see Dean, he didn't want to keep playing these bullshit games. His eyes flickered around the iron gate and then fell on a shiny object in Lucifer's left hand. The man shrugged his shoulders again and tossed the shiny key at Sam. Sam caught it deftly in the air and stared at the obnoxiously shiny object. It was so out of alignment with this place that he stared for a moment before he realized that he was holding the key to the gate and with that he could find Dean.

He stumbled the few steps to the gate and thrust the key into the shifting lock and watched as the gate started to twist and writhe as it pulled apart and 'opened' to him. Sam glanced over his shoulder and was gratified to see that the angel wasn't behind him. He released a breath of air and rushed forward as quickly as his injured ankle would allow. He was just past the gate when it twisted closed again and he heard a sound that would echo through his soul for the rest of his natural life…it was a sound of pain and terror and the utter devastation of the righteous. It was the sound of his brother crying out in agonizing pain…and it was coming from the area directly in front of him.

XXXX

Dean felt the whip as it fell across his shoulders, the jagged metal attached at the ends of the many leather straps ripping into the tender flesh. He had lost count after fifteen, his body struggling to simply remain conscious. The man was picking up speed and strength as the whip continued to snap back only to fall again, this time across his lower back. The blood was splattering across Dean's cheek as the leather snapped back and then fell again tearing swaths of material out of his jeans across his hamstrings. Dean had lost the ability to cry out because before the whip had been brought out, the man had thought that it would be funny to cut out Dean's tongue. _That had triggered a memory…but he couldn't quite work out the fuzzy images…_then he had lost the thought completely as the black whip with numerous pieces of shiny jagged metal attached to the many strings of leather had been shown to him with loving reverence. The man had then described with _great detail_ the many different things that it would do to his body; before he was subjected to the ministrations of that same whip.

Dean just wanted it to be over, he was trying to figure out why none of this had killed him yet…when he suddenly realized that that was what Hell was…it was _not dying._ His head had fallen forward onto his chest, the blood dribbling down his chin between his pectoral muscles and sliding down until it disappeared below his waist. One thought was repeating in his mind at this point…like a mantra…_save the protector. Save Dean…_ He felt his eyelid's shutter open at that thought. _Save Dean? How could he save himself?_ A voice pierced his hazy thoughts and the whip stilled instantly as the man's eyes were drawn to the tall figure of the youngest Winchester.

Dean pulled his head up and peaked through the slits of his eyelids, seeing his brother's horrified expression, making him wish that he hadn't even made the effort. Sam's face was a sea of rage and terror as he took in the scene in front of him.

Dean was chained…no skewered, to a metal rack. The tattered remains of his jeans were barely hanging on his thighs, having slid down from his waist as they had been ripped apart by the ruthless use of the whip that now hung loosely in an unknown man's hands. The man tilted his head to the side and smiled at Sam. In all his life Sam had never seen someone turn a smile into something so sinister before…

"Sam, so glad you could make it." He tilted his head and drew the whip up one last time and sent it flying out, it connected with Dean's body and he arched at the fiery slash of pain that rippled through his already abused body. What had been left of his cloths now slid to the ground leaving him hanging naked and exposed on the hot iron of the rack, his skin burning where it touched the molten metal. Dean's eyes slid from Sam's as humiliation and agony warred within his haunted green gaze, the blood was now his only refuge from the tortured and prying eyes of his little brother. "Go ahead Sam. Convince Dean he doesn't deserve to be here…that he isn't the reason that his father suffered this fate for 120 years…" With that said the man dropped the whip and simply evaporated into the air, like smoke in the wind.

Sam had started to cry out when the whip slashed forward that final time to strike his brother's prostrate form, but the horror of what he was witnessing had pulled the sound from his lips with nothing more than a soft… "No…Dean…"

Sam rushed forward and looked at his brother. He wanted to remove Dean from the rack but he couldn't see how the hooks were attached, it was like they were a solid circle that entered Dean's flesh and then melded back into the metal completing the circle. There was no way to remove Dean without pulling the iron through his flesh and bone. Tears slid silently down Dean's bowed head, his body shaking with pain at the realization of what exactly his father had suffered to save his miserable life. Sam reached under Dean's chin and gently lifted his head so that he could look into Dean's eyes, the level of anguish and despair that was reflected out of those glassy green pools caused Sam's heart to stutter along. "Dean?" he asked quietly.

Dean's eyelids flickered open and he connected his gaze with Sam's, suddenly finding that he could talk again…_this world makes no sense._ He thought. "S'mmy?"

Sam nodded as more tears cascaded down his face. "Yeah Dean. It's me." He gently ran his fingers over Dean's bloodied face, trying to wipe away the tracks that his tears had made in the blood. "Dean, do you remember why you're here?"

Dean's eyes drifted closed again as he thought, "Mem'br." He managed around the pain.

Sam nodded and squatted down so he could see into his brother's eyes again. "Dean…" his voice broke as he tried to tell Dean that he didn't know how to free him. "I…can't free…you." His brother nodded his understanding and Sam cringed when he saw nothing but blind acceptance in that battered face. Dean wasn't blaming him for not being able to help him. Sam's head fell forward and he found himself staring down the length of Dean's tortured form…he snapped his gaze back up and howled his frustration, watching as the wind whipped it away into the blistering heat.

"My….f'lt…S'my…" Dean whispered, tears dripping off his nose.

That brought Sam slamming back into the moment at hand and he gently lifted Dean's head again and shook his head in denial. "No Dean. It wasn't." He tried to smile at his brother, but the smile wouldn't form on his lips. "Dad made his choice to save you. It was the most unselfish thing that dad ever did Dean." Sam hiccupped in a breath and continued. "Don't take that from him. He did it for you and he isn't suffering anymore…hasn't been for a long time…all because of you. What you did. Dean."

Dean groaned deep in his chest as he tried like hell to accept that fact. His head was telling him one thing and his heart was shouting something completely different….his body was screaming something totally in contrast with both of his other parts.

Sam nearly dropped Dean's head when Lucifer suddenly appeared right behind Dean, leaning suggestively against his brother's naked back, his hand resting in the wounds on Dean's shoulder, causing the blood to flow more quickly. His chin was resting on the other bloodied shoulder of the older Winchester, "I told you. You can't save him Sam…because he doesn't _want _to be saved." He pushed his thumb into the seeping wounds on Dean's back and watched with pleasure as agony shot through the young man, his eyes snapping open and his back arching away from the angel, the uncomfortable feeling of someone that close to his bare ass making him arch into the metal of the rack.

"Get the hell away from him you son of a bitch!" Sam cried as he lurched forward to physically move the man. His hands coming up to grab the asshole by his blonde hair, but Sam found that he was clutching only air…and he and Dean were once again alone. A voice sounded like thunder from the clouds that were currently swirling above their heads…_you need to hurry Sam…he only has so much time accept this fate…or you know what his future will hold…hurry Sammy….hurry Sammy…tick...tock...tick...tock... _The taunting voice faded into the background and Sam turned back to Dean. He was looking at Sam, his eyes frightened and desperate as he waited for his little brother to address him again.

"Dean, I need you to understand once and for all. None of this is your fault. Shit just happens and it seems that in the Winchester family it happens way more often and with greater ramifications than other families. Dad wanted to save _you_; it was his fault that you were dying in the hospital bed in the first place. His inability to stop hunting for the thing that killed mom…he almost lost you because of his own selfishness. All this guilt that you two carry around…it's killing you Dean…just like it killed him." Dean's head lolled forward at that and Sam mentally kicked himself, this was not going the way that he had pictured it. He was driving his brother further into this paranoid dimension, when he was supposed to save him…that's when it suddenly occurred to him. The one sure-fire way that he _could_ save Dean. Convince his older brother that by living and surviving _he _could _save_ Sam.

Sam inhaled slowly and forged ahead. "Dean…if you can't accept what he did…really accept it. Then you are going to die…and so will I." Sam watched with morbid fascination as his brother's head snapped up and his fury filled green eyes crashed into Sam's wounded gaze.

"No! Sammy…I'm gonna save you." He growled out between clenched teeth, his body nearly vibrating with the intensity with which he felt this one 'order'. The one mantra that he had lived his entire life by… 'protect Sam'.

Sam looked sad as he looked past the anger into Dean's soul. "Then do it." He said in a whispered voice, his own body shaking with repressed emotions.

Dean's eyes fell away from Sam's as he thought of all the things that he wouldn't have been there to do for Sam if he hadn't been saved that night. Deep down he knew, had always known, that his father would have walked away from Sam the moment that the funeral was finished. Once Dean had been buried and was gone, his father would have simply gone back to his quest for vengeance and continued in his search for revenge against the yellow eyed demon…he would have left Sam…and Sam would have died in Cold Oak, North Dakota. His father's sacrifice had made it possible for Dean to save Sam…well kinda…he had gone to hell and saved Sam…after his own failure to protect his little brother. Dean finally felt a warm acceptance slipping through his system and suddenly he was falling forward into the surprised arms of his baby brother.

Sam's hands shot out to catch Dean, pain lancing through his body as he felt his forward momentum halted by the strong arms. Dean felt his body being slowly and carefully lowered to the ground, his wounds mixing with the red dust that littered the rocky slope they suddenly found themselves on. The rocky surface bit into his fillet flesh, the air was suddenly cold and Dean found that his naked body was shivering as it pierced him; the pain in the open wounds on his wrists and ankles adding a new level to his suffering. Sam was looking down at him, the relief and the love that was nakedly exposed in his blue-green gaze was matched by the mirrored expression in Dean's own glassy emerald colored eyes. Dean nodded and then turned away from the onslaught of emotions. "Too much chick-flicking here dude…now I know this is hell." He whispered.

Sam barked a laugh, so glad to hear his brother make a bad joke that he was unable to react any other way and found himself pulling Dean closer to his body, trying to impart some of his own immense body heat to the shivering man in his arms. "This is _your_ head Dean…" he quipped.

Dean nodded. "Then why don't I know how we get out?" he asked quietly as he looked at the expanses of rolling and jagged rocks in all directions. It all looked exactly the same.

Sam shook his head. "I have no idea Dean. Like I said this is all in your head."

Lucifer's voice resounded through Sam's brain like a megaphone. "You have to beat me to get out here Sammy…good luck" Sam's head snapped in several directions while he looked for the source of the voice, when his eyes settled back on his brother's he was surprised to find that Dean was staring at him with horror. "What Dean?"

"He's in your head Sam…Lucifer? And he isn't going to let us leave is he…?" Dean's voice was hoarse and edged in fear as he stared into Sam's worried eyes. Dean's body started to shake violently and he pulled into a ball to try and alleviate the pain.

"We are leaving big brother…right now!" Sam said as he employed the power of the dream-root…

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Sorry for the graphic nature of the chapter…but while I can't say for certain, I'm assuming that any version of Hell would be graphic, painful, bloody, humiliating…and any other word that would demean a person. So now they are trying to escape the Osiris created world…but will Sam be successful in getting them out or will Dean be doomed to suffer while they try to escape. Next chapter soon. Thanks for sticking with me through this odd little fiction._

**Please Review: I find them motivating…**


	11. Freaking DreamRoot

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains graphic imagery_****_ throughout, to include hell!torture. Don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**_Not Slash. Rating may need to be upgraded to _****M****_ in reflection the graphic nature of this chapter._**

**Chapter 11**

_Freaking DreamRoot_

Sam waited for them to wake up, he had been able to get them out of Dean's head before. When that crazy college kid had trapped them there…but it wasn't working this time. No matter how much he concentrated they were still sitting in the dusty valley with the intense heat boiling around them.

Sam watched sympathetically as Dean rolled his eyes back into his head, he was trying to focus around the pain. Sam's eyes flitted around the area; while he couldn't see any immediate dangers…he wanted to get the hell out of this place. Neither of them was in a position to defend themselves, he could see the massive gates in the background, but he'd also caught the worry filled green eyes of his brother when he realized that Sam was still listening to Lucifer. _This wasn't the place for that_…Sam knew that…but it wasn't like he could control the son of bitch. He pulled off his outer shirt and laid it gently over his shaking brother's form. Dean's eyes flickered up to meet Sam's concerned gaze. His arm snaking out from beneath Sam's large checkered shirt and pulling it closer to himself; Dean's hands would barely close over the material, the hole in his wrist making it nearly impossible for his nerves to work properly. "Thanks…S'my…" he managed around the swelling in his lips.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut in total and utter frustration, he had told his brother that he was going to get him out of here…but he had absolutely no idea how. This was, after all, Dean's head…and yes…Sam had taken the dream-root, but he was at a complete loss as to how to initiate an escape. Sam was also a little concerned about Lucifer's interference in any plan that he came up with. He was leaning over and watching Dean's shallow breathing as he listened worriedly to the slight wheeze in his brother's lungs.

"Dean?" Sam asked as he gently touched his brother's shoulder, careful to avoid the burned and blistered skin. The light sheen of sweat was causing the red dust to stick to Dean's skin and as it mixed and mingled with the blood it made his brother look even worse in the dim light.

Dean's head tilted slightly toward him as his eyes slid open a crack, they were slightly unfocused and rolled around until the connected with Sam's concerned blue-green gaze, "Yeah?"

"How are you feeling? I mean…I…I know it's a stupid question…but we are going to have to move soon….you think you can?" Sam finished quickly. He hated that he was baiting his brother, but it wasn't like they could stay here on this ledge, they needed to get back through the gate. He was figuring that that might be the only way out of this place.

A voice that only Sam could hear spoke up, "Good guess there Sammy-boy…go ahead, get your brother up and walking….oh that's right. He has holes through his legs…" the voice drifted off on the wind and Sam shook his head to clear his thoughts. Dean watched the entire thing, his concern for his little brother growing the longer he watched the far off look in Sam's unfocused eyes.

Dean's eyebrow's rose slightly as he looked at Sam with such an intense sadness that Sam was momentarily stunned. He knew that Dean had beaten the odds…that he finally understood and had accepted what their father had done for him. But he didn't seem to be getting any better, so what the hell was going on with his older brother? Sam repositioned himself so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of Dean, his hands resting gently on the damaged man's side.

"I know…it hurts…Dean. But we have to get out of here." Sam said as he tilted his head. A sudden cracking noise from behind him and Dean's sharply inhaled breath gave Sam just enough warning to spin quickly and take in the sight of the biggest wall of red dusty clouds moving toward them quickly that he had ever seen. Lightning flashed within the cloud and the thundering sound of the intense winds that swirled and undulated within it as it rolled along were nearly deafening. Sam's eyes slammed back into Dean's confused face and he reached down trying desperately to get his brother's beaten and broken body on his feet. They had to get out of this _hell-realm_…or at least get past the iron gates…NOW!

Dean's cry of pain as Sam's hands closed around his mid-section and pulled him unceremoniously to his feet made Sam cringing internally, but he schooled his expression to one of neutrality and pulled anyways. Dean's legs nearly buckled as the weight of his body settled onto his injured legs and ankles, "Guh…Sam…stop...I…ca…can't…" he managed as his knees gave out and he started to fall forward. Sam's grasping finger's grabbing painfully onto his arms and hauling him upright once again. The naked hurt and pain that was shooting out of Dean's eyes as he turned agonized green iris's on Sam…made Sam want to die. He hated that he was hurting his brother, but he had to save them…and that meant moving.

"You have to move Dean!" Sam yelled over the rising winds…the boiling heat that was moving just ahead of that cloud of red was like opening an oven and sticking his head inside. "Dean!" Sam cried again, as he thrust his brother's arm over his shoulders and tried to ignore the whimpers of pain, though bitten off, were still escaping his older brother's damaged lips as he hauled them toward the twisted gate. Somehow Dean managed to take some of his own body weight and shuffled his bloody feet over the razor sharp shards of the rocky ground. Dean didn't notice that the rocks were cutting the soles of his feet to ribbons; he was already in so much pain that the addition of more simply no longer registered in his brain. But Sam did and it was shattering him a little more inside as he saw the bloody trail left in their wake as they moved forward.

The pair managed to stumble the final few steps to the gate as Sam suddenly realized that he didn't have the damn key. It was still twisted into the lock on the other side, "FUCK!" he screeched into the rapidly strengthening wind. Dean turned agonized eyes up at Sam, his body slumping forward as the last of his strength seeped from his muscles and he slid bonelessly to the ground. "Dean!" Sam yelled as his eyes flickered rapidly from the storm to the gate to his unconscious brother lying in a bloody heap at his feet. "NO DEAN!" he cried as he surged to his feet and looked at the quickly shifting iron of the gate, it was twisting in and around and back on itself…like a snake or a worm dying on the hot sidewalk. He watched it for a fraction of a second and then thrust his arm through the instantaneous opening that came out of nowhere as the gate shifted. His fingers closed around the smooth metal of the key and he shifted his shoulder out, pulling the key from the lock and back through the opening. Sam sighed at this one bit of good luck and turned to look at Dean's prone form, he narrowed his eyes and grabbed for his brother, pulling him up and into a fireman's carry. At this particular moment he was extremely grateful that Dean wasn't conscious…because this would hurt like hell.

He turned to the gate and watched as the lock on this side melded and twisted just as it had on the other side. Sam pushed the key into the lock as soon as it uncovered itself and then he twisted the shiny metal key and stepped back as the gate again pulled apart in a twisting mass of iron. The winds were now so strong that they were pulling the air from his lungs and Sam could feel his face burning with the heat and the small bites of pain as debris from inside of the storm rained down on their bodies. His fear ramped up as he realized that Dean's already injured form was taking a lot of the abuse since he was draped over Sam's shoulders. Even unconscious Dean was managing to protect his little brother. Sam scrambled for the gate and twisted his body to the side as he squeezed through the narrow opening, he was careful of Dean's head and feet as he cleared the black iron.

Instantly the winds died and he could hear the howl of fury from the other side. It sounded almost human…as though something had failed and was raging against the loss. The hospital was empty…there were no doctors or nurses…there weren't even any medical supplies. Sam shifted Dean's body and continued to walk toward the room where their father had been assigned. When he'd been here earlier he could have sworn that he'd seen scrubs and even a bed in that room…if he could get Dean there he could at least try and clean his brother up.

"Seriously Sam…he's seen better days." Lucifer's voice interrupted Sam's plan and caused him to whirl around and glare at the shorter man. Lucifer held up his hands in a gesture of innocence…it looked so wrong on the fallen angel that Sam snorted derisively and rolled his eyes. "What?" the blonde man asked as he just stood with his arms folded and simply watched Sam.

"What are you doing here? Dean beat the tests…he past the trials. Now let us the hell out of here!" Sam's voice was rising as he stared angrily at the other man, his brother's blood was now slipping down his shoulders and between the muscles on his back the longer he held him.

"Well…yeah…he did. But you see, when you entered the 'trial'" he air quoted the word 'trial' as he continued to speak. "Sam, you changed the rules." Lucifer's head tilted to the side and he smiled at Sam. "You took the dream-root Sam…which means that you control this world…and I control you." He shrugged his shoulders and started picking at his finger nails as though he was peeling something off them.

Sam's mouth shot open to deny the words…but he remembered that he had been able to reach through the gate; he had been able to get Dean off the rack…_Oh my God…_ Things he couldn't have done if he hadn't had some control over the world they currently found themselves in. His eyes dropped to the floor in denial. He'd inadvertently given Osiris a way to keep Dean here, whether or not Dean accepted the deaths. Sam's interference had given a power to the God that he hadn't had before. "That's a lie…" he whispered, desperate to convince himself.

"You know it's not Sam." The angel said calmly as he inhaled and then jumped up so he was sitting on the empty nurse's counter. "But…if you play this game with me, if you can beat my little game…I'll let you take control and then you can get yourself and your brother out of this place." He grinned. "Tick, tock, tick, tock Sammy…Dean doesn't have too much time left…now that he's out of the hell-realm, those injuries can kill him the same as they would in the real world."

"Screw you! I'm not playing." Sam yelled at the man...who simply looked at Sam with that same infuriating grin on his face.

"Yes you will." Lucifer dropped the smile and narrowed his blue eyes at the younger Winchester. "You _will_ play Sam…because that's the only way you're getting Dean out of this place…"

Sam's eyebrows rose at the revelation and he felt his brother's stuttering breaths as he continued to hold him. A quiet moan from Dean alerted Sam that he was coming around and that as soon as he was conscious he was going to be in massive amounts of pain…and apparently dying. Sam turned away from the smirking face of the angel and walked to the end of the corridor, where he knew the room he was seeking was located.

"Hurry Sam. Make a choice…he's running out of time." The voice chased him down the hallway as he moved away from the angel.

He gently lowered his brother onto the white sheets of the hospital bed, Dean's head lolling against his shoulders as he carefully laid him back. The shirt that had been covering his brother slid to the floor and Sam was helpless to look away as the sight of Dean's naked body left nothing to the imagination as far as the severity of the injuries were concerned. The one part of Dean's body that wasn't injured was the damn scar on his right shoulder...the one of Castiel's hand, when he had pulled Dean from hell nearly 3 years ago. Sam felt the bile rise in his throat as he turned from the bloody wreck of a human body that was his older brother. He leaned against the door jam and waited for the nausea to pass.

"S'm?" Dean's gravelly voice called quietly from behind him. Sam spun around and locked eyes with the eldest Winchester. Dean's eyes were glassy and the pupils were blown out with pain as he gritted his teeth and looked at Sam. Sam could see what his brother was doing and it simply increased his guilty conscience…he was searching Sam's body for injuries… He was lying in a hospital bed after being tortured and he was searching _Sam for blood_.

"I'm fine Dean…you're the one that's hurt." Sam muttered as he reached out to pull the sheets up over his brother's naked flesh, no longer able to ignore his brother's nudity or the seeping wounds.

"Su'r?" Dean asked again as his head fell back into the pillow and his shaking hand reached for Sam's dangling fingers. Sam tangled his fingers with his brothers, seeking comfort and confirmation that Dean was really in front of him. Sam was starting to question what he was seeing, just as he had in that warehouse when Lucifer had lured him away from Bobby's place and Dean had come for him…_because Dean always came for him. _That was one thing where he and his older brother really differed...Dean always came after Sam and Sam seemed to have no problem walking away from Dean...guilt curled into his belly as he thought of all the times that he had walked away from his brother.

"Yeah Dean." He said and punctuated the answer with a soft squeeze of his brothers fingers. Sam was looking at Dean when he finally noticed that the holes in Dean's wrists and ankles were healed…he was still a mess from the whip and whatever else that son of a bitch had done to him. But the damaged from the rings on the rack were simply gone; Dean's wrists and ankles were once again whole. Sam didn't believe in a lot of things, but at that moment he was thanking every deity that they knew about for that one kindness. Sam grabbed the scrubs that he had seen from a cabinet in the room and turned back to Dean, who was watching him with a concerned and pained expression. "Here, we should get you some clothes."

Dean scowled at him as he looked at the white scrubs, "Not…my…color Sammy." He croaked out as he glared at the hospital garb. Sam knew that his brother had always hated the hospital scrubs, they meant that something had gone wrong…that was all that they represented to his older brother. It was a reminder that somehow Dean had failed…at least that was how Sam knew that that was how Dean had always perceived a hospital stay.

Sam snorted at the snarky remark. "It's all we have Dean."

XXXX

Dean looked at his little brother…really looked at him. His shoulders were slumped forward and his face was etched with weariness. Dean wanted to help Sam. He just didn't know how. The pain that was lancing through his body was second only to the pain that he could read on his little brother's face. He had promised Sam that he would fight for him…and he had every intention of keeping that promise. As he watched Sam move toward him, there was a sudden glimmer in the room and suddenly he was no longer staring at his brothers advancing form…he was staring at a rock wall. He was still lying in the hospital bed, the sheets were still pulled up over his wounded body…but his sasquatch of little brother was nowhere to be seen. "Sam!" He called with as much strength as he could manage.

A voice from the darkness answered him, but it wasn't Sam. "He can't hear you Dean." The man from the hell-realm stepped out into the dim light of the rock room. Suddenly Dean's memories came flooding back…all of them.

"Alistair…" Dean whispered as his eyes narrowed in hatred, the fury nearly vibrating through his system as he glared at the demon.

"Hi'ya Dean." The demon said as he leaned against the black lava rock that made up the walls of his room. "Surprised to see me?"

"Well, since you're dead…kinda…yeah." Dean said through clenched teeth, his hands forming fists beneath the white and red sheet; fury allowing his words to come more easily through the pain. His blood was soaking though the once crisp white cotton, the longer he lay on the bed without medical treatment was causing more of his blood to ooze from the wounds, changing the sheet from white to red.

"Did you really thing that death could stop something like me? Did you Dean?" the demon watched for a reaction from his favorite student and smiled when he merely groaned, the demon continued in a voice that was almost suggestive at the young man. "You're the one soul I would crawl up for Dean…"

Dean swallowed, trying to control the fear and rage that threatened to undo him as he stared at the human form of the master torturer. The man looked at his watch and then back at Dean, "You're brother has exactly six hours to find you Dean…or he leaves and you stay…forever."

Dean shook his head, his shoulders shaking in denial, "NO! I beat the trials…" the words were limp and held no conviction as he stared at the other man.

The smile slipped from the demon's lips and he flashed forward until his face was mere inches from Dean's as he leaned into the hunter. "Yes…you did." He twisted his head and his fingers came up and pressed into the burn hole in his left shoulder causing Dean to gasp at the unexpected spike in pain. "But we weren't done playing with you two yet. So now Sam has to beat Lucifer for you two to escape. Plus he still doesn't know about Amy, Dean…do you think that he will still come for you once he does?" Dean's breaths were coming in sharp pants as he gasped through the agony of the twisting and shifting fingers of the demon. "Lucifer has the dream-root now too Dean. Sam has to win this little game or he is just as trapped as you."

"No…." Dean breathed.

"Yes!" the demon screamed into his face. He then sat back and smiled at the man in the bed, "And there's no way for you to help him. He has to figure all this out for himself…to bad he's half-crazy right?"

"He's got more brains in one crazy cell than you have in your entire stolen body." Dean seethed. But the words were forced out of habit, not belief...and the demon knew that, he grinned at Dean and waved off the affirmation as though it were a merely trivial thing.

"We'll see."

And then Dean was alone. He was in complete darkness…he couldn't even see his hand in front of his face, which meant that he couldn't event try and fix any of his wounds. This room was the absolute absence of sound and light…it was like being blind and deaf…Dean had never known that absolute silence still had a sound. It was the sounds of his labored breathing and the blood rushing through his system frantically trying to keep him alive. _Oh God…Sam is gonna know what I did…will he come after me? _While Dean still felt that killing Amy had been the correct course of action, he wasn't sure that Sam would agree with his reason for doing it…_because Sam couldn't. _He layed back against the pillow, his mind wandering in an attempt to get away from the pain…if just for a little while. It was vibrating through his system in jolts of electricity and agony…he just needed a break…just for a minute.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _So like any story that I have written this one is taking on its own life. I just couldn't see Sam having complete control with Lucifer still rambling around in his skull. So this is where the story gets a little AU, because Sam is going to learn about Amy and then he will have to make a choice. Save Dean? Or hang onto his righteous anger. Not sure if they're done playing with Dean yet…or if Sam is going to get out this whole thing unscathed…more soon. Hope this isn't dragging on for you guys…thanks for reading. For anyone that is worried about whether or not Dean will be whole at any point…he will…promise. The next chapter is entitled 'My Brother…My Hero'…should give you an idea where this is headed._

**Please Review: They are motivating me to write more and more for this little drabble.**


	12. My BrotherMy Hero

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains graphic imagery_****_ throughout, to include hell!torture. Don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**Not Slash**

**Chapter 12**

_My Brother…My Hero_

Sam spun around the room looking for his absent brother…he supposed that he might have looked crazy to anyone else... "He's not here Sam." Lucifer said as he strolled into the room and leaned casually against the pale wall, his arms folded over his chest like he had nowhere else in the world je needed to be, _which he probably doesn't. _Sam finished the thought in irritation. His vision was spinning as he looked for Dean, this wasn't possible...it couldn't be happening…not like this. The window inside this room was bent and it looked out onto an open field, there was no grass or trees…there was only charred soil. The skyline was the orange-red color of the interior of a blood-orange…the smell reminded Sam of rotten eggs…_sulfur,_ his mind provided immediately.

"Where the hell is my brother?!" Sam yelled as he moved menacingly toward the man staring openly at him, the humor evident in his blue eyes. He thought that Sam losing Dean was freaking hilarious and he had absolutely no problem letting Sam see that. The youngest Winchester, however had a really BIG problem with that. "Alright asshole…what's this _game_ that I have to win to get us the hell outta here?"

Lucifer pushed off the wall and unfolded his arms, pulling his lips tight as he stared at Sam, and then he laughed shaking his head slowly, his blue eyes twinkling with humor that Sam did not share. "Sam…be nice." He said simply, ticking his fingers back and forth like you would a child that had done something wrong and was getting 'tsk'd' by their parent.

Sam was flying apart on the inside…he was trying desperately to hold it together, but truthfully he could feel himself losing his grasp on reality. He looked down and pulled his eyebrows together as he tried to control the fury that was raging damn near unchecked within him. Sam had to find Dean and they had to get out of this place…failure was simply not an option. Sam had left his brother in hell once…he had no intention of doing so again. "What do I have to do?" Particularly a hell of Dean's own making.

The angel smiled and inhaled deeply, "Well first of all, you need to be brought up to speed on a few things."

"What things?" Sam growled.

"You remember your friend Amy, Sam?" The fallen angel watched the recognition flood across Sam's face and he nodded in approval as he walked slowly around Sam, like a predator circling its prey.

Sam threw his hands up in the air and frustration, "_What_ about Amy?"

"Well…you know how your brother…" he air quoted again. "Let her go." He dropped his hands and tilted his head, a smile slipping easily onto his lips. "Does that really sound like something your brother would do? Let a monster that had killed _innocent_ people go?"

Sam narrowed his eyes, but something that the blonde man had said made him think, it rang true when describing his older brother. _Would Dean really let a monster go?_ His mind flitted back to the incident with the vampires and Gordon Walker…Dean would have killed Lenore and every other vampire that he'd found there. If Sam hadn't been there to stop him…but Amy _had_ killed innocents and it wouldn't matter to Dean if it was to save her 'monster' offspring's life. _He would've never let her walk away. _Sam felt as though he had been punched in the gut, the air whooshed from his lungs and he sank back against the wall for support as his muscles suddenly went wobbly. _If I didn't know you…I would want to hunt you._ His brother's words flashed through his head and with them came both pain and clarity. His brother had lied to him, he _had _killed Amy…and she was the witness that he hadn't wanted called that night in the barn. "No…" the word slipped from Sam's lips as his hands came up and carded through his long hair in frustration.

"I told you that I would never lie to you Sam…and I won't." Lucifer said simply, his blue eyes intent as he watched Sam process the truth.

Sam couldn't believe it. He had thought that all the lies and the deceptions between him and Dean had been dealt with. But no matter how far they moved forward, there always seemed to be more lies just around the corner. He was angry with Dean for yet another lie and he couldn't figure out why it was that Dean hadn't trusted him enough to let Amy go…but despite that he couldn't leave Dean in this realm. Sam couldn't leave his brother again. He had done that too many times in the past and it never worked out well for either one of them…he wasn't making that same mistake again…not again.

"How do I get myself and Dean out of here?" he asked quietly. The fight still in his posture, but the muscles relaxed instead of poised for flight.

The angel chuckled, "That's my boy. Get that game face on Sammy."

"How?" Sam yelled. His blue-green eyes intense as his fingers clenched and unclenched in rising agitation.

"Find Dean…before the time runs out. He only has about five hours left…maybe less if Alistair gets bored." He clasped his fingers and placed them behind his head in a casual manner as he watched the news sink into Sam's fractured brain.

"How do I find him? This is Dean's head…I don't even know where to start." Sam whispered as he dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his palms over his closed eyes...god he was tired.

"You have all the information that you need to locate your brother Sam. And all the information that I'm going to give you…otherwise that's called cheating." He snarked as he pushed away from the wall and walked out the door. "Tick, tock, tick, tock…Sammy." He called over his shoulder.

Sam scrambled to his feet and rushed to the door as he stumbled into the hallway and howled his frustration as he spun around the empty space…Lucifer was nowhere to be seen and he still had no idea where to look for Dean. He was still massively angry with his older brother for lying to him and not trusting him, but the more that he considered it he also knew that Dean had to have had a good reason beyond the obvious for killing Amy…and he needed to find his brother so he could ask him about it.

"DEAN!" he called into the darkness. Silence was his only answer.

XXXX

Being left alone with his thoughts in the complete darkness was just about the worst thing that Dean could think of. He was chewing over every decision that he'd made over his life and he wasn't at all pleased with what he was discovering. The pain from his injuries was slicing through his body and he was simply trying to distract himself at this point. He didn't want to think about Sam…and whether or not his little brother could forgive him for lying to him about Amy. He'd finally accepted the truth about why his father had made the decision to save him all those years ago. But as he reviewed his life he wasn't sure that he liked the conclusions that he was coming to as far as his own decisions were concerned.

"Poor Dean…left to his own little thoughts…it's almost cruel…" Alistair's voice floated through the darkness and suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light as the room lit up. The demon was standing near the head of the bed, his hand resting inches above Dean's blonde hair. "I mean I know that you don't have _that _many thoughts…but damn the ones you do have…they're kinda base Dean." Alistair pushed away from the bed and walked around dragging his fingers across Dean's forehead and down his cheek in an almost sexual manner.

"Get off…I don't swing that way you kinky bastard." Dean bit out as he pulled his face violently away from the unwelcome touch. The demon laughed and slapped Dean's chest, hard. Dean pulled in a raspy breath as he struggled to breathe through the pain that it elicited.

"You'll swing any way I want you to down here Dean." The demon said with a smirk. He pressed his fingernails into Dean's abdomen, causing the young man to cry out in pain as the agony slashed across his stomach re-opening the older wound as new blood started to dribble down his flanks.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean cried out as he tried to pull into a fetal position. But the open wounds on his back had caused the blood to clot against the sheets and it was now pulling painfully as he shifted his body. He slammed his eyes shut and settled back against the bed…he couldn't move. His injuries were holding him tied to this bed as surely as if the demon had cuffed him to it. _He couldn't move._

The demon rolled his eyes and snorted as he slapped Dean across the face, watching with satisfaction as the human's head snapped to the side with the force and the blood dripped from a new split in his lower lip. "You know…Lucifer told Sam. About you. What you did…and it seems as though Sammy…isn't coming after you Dean." The demon watched as the news struck the young hunter as surely as a heart-shot bullet would have.

Dean's eyes slid closed and his head shook from side to side in silent denial…but it _did_ sound like his little brother. He was always looking for the next reason to leave Dean. This would give him the perfect excuse…and Dean honestly didn't know if it was one that Sam would take…but it _did_ sound like him.

The demon laughed as he saw his words strike home and the fight sag out of the injured man…this was perfect he wouldn't fight to get out and his brother would have to fight to get in. Osiris would be so pleased with the progression of this 'trial'.

"You know that you deserve all of this right Dean?" Alistair asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, near Dean's hip. His head cocking to the side as he stared into the frantic green eyes of Dean Winchester. "He only has a few hours left Dean…and he is your only ticket outta here. If he'd just let you suffer the death on your own…you would have been home and he would be none the wiser about Amy. This is Sam's doing and yours…for letting him interfere."

"I didn't ask him to…" Dean mumbled as he realized that he may have indeed gotten Sam killed too in his attempt to alter Osiris's punishment.

"You didn't have to…your brothers." Alistair said simply.

The demon didn't realized that he'd made a mistake until he saw the flint hard gaze that Dean shot in his direction, his faith in his brother restored with those two words. It occurred to Dean that while his brother _had_ walked away on numerous occasions, it had never been when he thought that Dean was in danger. Sam had actively engaged hell to try and rescue Dean from the pit…he wouldn't leave Dean to suffer now, no matter how angry he was. A slow smiled spread across Dean lips as he cocked his head at the demon… "He'll come." He said simply. Instantly he was plunged back into darkness and he was left alone in the rushing sound of silence again.

Dean wondered why it had taken him so long to accept that whatever _he was_ willing to do for Sam…his little brother was every bit as _willing_ to do the same things for him. He bit his lip against the pain and twisted his legs, pulling his back away from the sheets on the bed. He tasted the metallic blood as he bit too hard into his lip to avoid crying out in pain as the scabs ripped open and there was a rush of warm fluid that flowed down his back. He pulled a sheet that he couldn't even see more snugly around his hips and sat for moment as he tried to acclimate to the difference in his position. Dean slipped off the bed and fell back against it as the pain slashed through his feet. How could he have forgotten that he had sliced them open moving over the rocks near the rack. Well unfortunately now he remembered and it didn't matter, he still had to find a way out of this hell-hole.

Dean tied the sheet as well as he could around his lean hips as he moved sluggishly toward the wall…he still couldn't see, but he remembered that the wall was directly in front of him. Maybe if he felt his way along it he could find the way out of this room. He stumbled painfully forward and thrust his hands out in front of his chest to avoid crashing into the wall accidentally. His arms were flailing in open air as he focused on just putting one foot on front of the other and ignoring the palpating agony that was racing up his legs and through his back into his brain.

"Damn-it!" he swore as he felt the sheet shift and he moved automatically to re-secure it, causing his back to spasm with pain. He stopped for a moment and waited for it to pass, once it started to diminish he moved forward again, his fingers finally making contact with cold rock. Dean blew out a breath of air as he began working his way along the wall, finally coming to a door. He ran his hands up and around the edges of the frame until he finally felt what seemed to be a knob. Dean sent up a silent prayer and twisted the knob…the door opened easily and the room was flooded with deep red light.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the difference in the level of illumination, but once they had he peaked out of the room, looking in both directions of the hallway. He could go left or he could go right…but which direction was Sam in?

XXXX  
Sam rushed along the corridors, looking frantically as he passed each empty room. His brother wasn't anywhere and he was rapidly running out of time… Not that he would normally have known that. But the fricken angel wouldn't let him forget it. He was giving Sam a constant run down of how long he had left to find Dean. Just as Sam thought that he had the maze of rooms figured out, they would shift. He couldn't explain it…but every floor, every staircase, every elevator…they all led back to the room that Dean had disappeared from. Sam felt like he was going crazy and he was scared…both for himself, but particularly for his brother. Because he knew, he just knew that Dean was being played by that damn white-eyed demon.

_Goddamned monsters, Gods, and demons… _Sam thought as he rounded yet another corner that led him right back to the room. He slammed his fists into the walls in an outburst of rage and frustration that left his hands bloodied and bruised as he stepped away turning his back and leaning against the wall. He slid bonelessly to the floor and his breathing hitched as he tried to slow his ragged breaths. His eyes stung as the image of his brother flashed in front of him…but it wasn't the broken form that he had seen a few hours ago…it was the strong, cocky one from his childhood…when Dean had still been more than just his older brother…he had been Sam's own personal hero.

TBC…

**Authors Note:** _They are getting closer to finding one another, hang in there guys. There's a light at the end of this tunnel._

**Please Review: I am really trying to push this story out quickly and the reviews help.**


	13. Secrets My Brother Keeps

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains graphic imagery_****_ throughout, to include hell!torture. Don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**Not Slash**

**Chapter 13**

_Secrets My Brother Keeps_

Dean could barely see in the narrow hallway…it was so dim and frankly his eyes weren't functioning all that well at the moment. What little light there was happened to be that sickly red color and it seemed to fade in and out as he struggled to remain conscious. His body was raging against the continued movement, his feet sliding on the blood running past the sheet to puddle on the floor. He swallowed hard and then turned to lean against the wall as another wave of dizziness flooded his system. "Son of a bitch…" he mumbled as his teeth clamped together and felt his knees start to buckle. This was getting old, he had managed to get himself out of the room and he was making pretty decent progress...but he was having to stop frequently to steady his weakening body.

"Not doing so well are you Dean?" A voice asked from directly in front of him. Alistair stepped closer so that his face was somewhat illuminated by the low light. He was twisting a coin across his knuckles as he stared down at Dean in disgust. "I knew you were weak Dean…but…wow." He continued, the coin passing over his knuckles again.

"You try loosing…pints of your blood and see…how you feel…bitch." He bit out as he tried to push himself back up the wall. His face grimacing in pain as he glared at the demon. Alistair barked a laugh as he shook his head, flipping his coin into the air and grabbing it before clapping his hands together in applause. The look on the demons face could only be described as 'gleeful'.

"Maybe…you're not as weak as I supposed Dean." He drawled out as his eyes shifted from Dean's bloody feet to the sheet hanging loosely off his narrow waist. "But here's the thing there Dean-o…Sammy can't seem to find a way to get to you and he's running out of time to figure it out." He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes as the eldest Winchester continued to stare coldly at him. "And he's losing his grasp on reality…doesn't even know if this is real or just in his head at this point. So the chances are good that you'll be staying here with me." He grinned clapping his hands together again like a child at a birthday party.

Dean shook his head in denial, watching as the demon quickly closed the distance between them. He leaned as far against the wall as he could trying desperately to avoid even breathing the same air as the bastard. The demon raised the coin and held it in front of Dean, it was silver with a strange engraving one side and a head on the other, who watched with rising panic as the thing started to glow red. Alistair laughed at the frantic look in Dean's eyes; he reached out suddenly and laid the glowing coin against Dean's chest, watching with pleasure as the thing scorched its way into the tanned skin, marking the young man. Dean cried out in pain as his body was branded with something engraved into the coin…it left a sigil burned into his chest.

"There, now that's better Dean." The demon cooed. "I'll be able to control your pain levels better this way…" Confused green eyes latched onto white ones and the demon merely shook his head at the absolute stupidity of these creatures. He rolled his white eyes and flicked a hand up and watched as Dean doubled over, the pain in his body exponentially increasing as every nerve ending fired simultaneously.

Dean's mouth opened to cry out in agony…but he found that he couldn't even vocalize the amount of anguish flooding unchecked through his system. His eyes rolled back in his head and his legs gave out as he sank to the floor, his body seizing its chance to simply shut down.

The demon smiled and turned from the mangled wreck of a human body that had just collapsed at his feet. "You two are so much fun…." He whispered before turning and walking away, flipping the coin in the air as he rounded the corner.

XXXX

Sam's hands were fisted in his long hair as he leaned against the wall of the room that he had dubbed, 'the room from hell'. He was thumping his head against the cinder-blocks that made up the walls, and trying to figure out this twisted game. One that wasn't making sense to him the despite how much he thought about it…why were both Lucifer and Alistair involved in Osiris's 'trial'? He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees as he started looking at the problem from a more scientific point of view.

_Okay, what do I know?_ He inhaled and licked his lips as he thought. _I know that Dean is suffering somewhere down here…don't think about that Sam. _He admonished. _I know that he killed Amy…_don't think about that either. _Uh…he forgave himself for our father's choice. He has accepted the other death's as part of something that he had no control over. _Sam inhaled as he tried to consider everything that had happened over the last few weeks. His brother's muteness…his inability to control the 'Lucifer' hallucinations and finally Dean's ready acceptance of this deal. Something wasn't adding up…but Sam was having a hard time pulling it out of his 'swiss-cheese' brain. It was frustrating to have so many holes in his thoughts…Sam had never had problems controlling his mind before and it was killing him slowly, from the inside out.

"Think Sam…think." He said quietly and banged his head against the concrete again. "What am I missing…." _Me…I'm the missing piece. Dean hasn't forgiven himself for what happened to me. _It wasn't Sam's death that continued to haunt his older brother it was that he couldn't stop Sam from being dragged into the pit. He hadn't been able to rescue his brother…and then he'd stopped looking for a way to rescue Sam from the cage. Dean had done exactly what Sam had asked him to…_eventually_. He had gone and gotten himself a normal life…and now that Sam was back he couldn't forgive himself for that choice. The damage that Castiel had done by collapsing the wall had compounded the problem…_God…how did I miss that._ _Oh that's right…kinda going crazy right now._

Lucifer was standing in the doorway… "So you figured out the key?" He folded his arms and raised his eyebrows in question at Sam. "Like I said before Sam…your brother doesn't want to be saved. "

Sam raised his head and looked at the fallen angel a smile spreading across his lips. "That's why the rooms keep shifting and I keep winding back up here." Sam stated simply. He finally got it. He understood what his brother was trying desperately to hide from him. The smile died on his face as he shook his head in sadness. His entire life his older brother had been giving up pieces of himself to save Sam and it was time that he stopped. Sam needed Dean to know that he would be okay…the time in the cage…it had washed his sins clean. That was why he hadn't been targeted by Osiris…Sam didn't feel guilty anymore…except for the ongoing brotherly angst that was part of their daily lives.

He peeled himself up off the floor and ignored the gloating grin that spread across Lucifer's face. "Not giving up though are you Sammy…not in your nature…wait…it's exactly your nature to give up and run out on your brother." He chuckled as that drew a pained expression from the youngest Winchester.

"I'm not leaving without Dean." He growled as he walked past the angel without a second glance, turning right and heading into the darkness.

"Bye…." He heard as the voice faded into the background.

Sam walked, his ankle bothering him somewhat as he moved through the maze of rooms, he finally found a staircase and rushed through the doors…he felt like it was the first descent into madness. He inhaled deeply and pushed forward, the darkness alleviated only by the dim lights that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. He hadn't been turned back to the room yet, so he took that as a good sign…perhaps he had figured out the game and he was making the right choices after all.

A sudden scream echoed through the air and it brought him to an immediate halt as his knees wobbled and his heart stuttered as he recognized that agonized voice…_Dean._

XXXX

Fire…it was burning its way through his body…singeing everywhere and flooding into every nook and crevice throughout his system. He couldn't hold back the agonized scream of pain that ripped its way up out of his chest, his throat raw from the forced sounds. Alistair had left a long time ago, he didn't need to be here anymore…the sigil was enough the keep Dean in a constant loop of immense pain. Somewhere over the cacophony of pain he heard something…something important…_his name._

"DEAN!" Sam called as he raced toward his brother's voice. He slipped around a corner and a mound of something lying against the wall caught his attention. He angled toward the shadowed figure sinking to his knees as he recognized Dean's blonde hair. He reached out shaking fingers and pulled his brother's head toward him, exposing his neck so he could check for a pulse…_because if he died in this realm…he died in reality._

Dean could hear his little brother's frantic voice calling for him…just like he had all those years ago when Sammy had gotten separated from Dean in a local mall at Christmas time. Just like then, it was a voice that Dean would never ignore. He pushed his heavy eyelids open a crack and was rewarded with the worried face of his little brother staring at him. His fingers gently gripping Dean's chin and pulling his glassy gaze in Sam's direction as he looked his brother over pulling in ragged breaths as he saw how much damage there was.

"Sammy…how did you…f'nd me?" Dean asked his words choppy as he tried to speak through the pain.

Sam smiled slightly. "I finally figured out the game Dean. I know how we get out here." His eyes flickered up to meet Dean's glassy green gaze as he reached out to take Dean's bloodied fingers gently squeezing them in his own shaking hand. There were so many things that he wanted to say to his brother, but first he needed to get them out of this hospital and back to the valley. That would allow him to initiate a protocol, that he hoped would get both himself and Dean out of this forced torture-universe. He glanced around looking for something to help light their way back through the levels...his eyes suddenly connecting with something that was watching from the darkness...yellow eyes that were imbedded deep within something that stood nearly five feet high. The slow steady breathing of the thing causing it's head to bob up and down as it watched the Winchesters intently. Sam inhaled sharply...whatever it was...it wasn't a hell-hound...but it was just as big. A low rumble from the yellow-eyed _thing_ rippled its way through the air toward Dean and then the eyes were moving. Straight at them...and the son of bitch was fricken fast.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Sam's figured out Dean's little secret how they get out. One last confrontation…Osiris and then the boys should be home free. Sorry had to pull the chapter and reload it due to a computer issue.  
_

**Please Review: They are much appreciated.**


	14. Dean's Voice

**Idea…**_so what would have happened if Osiris had taken Dean's tongue in episode 'Defending your Life' From Season 7._

_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**_Please Review: They help shape the story. I do not have a Beta, all mistakes are mine...and unintentional._**

**_This chapter contains graphic imagery_****_ throughout, to include hell!torture. Don't like...don't read. Could have a slightly AU feel to it, if you squint._**

**Not Slash**

**Chapter 14**

_Dean's Voice_

Sam felt like the world had dropped into slow motion. He screamed for Dean to 'move!', but he knew that they weren't escaping that creature. Whatever it was, it was moving rapidly down the hall…all Sam could see were the yellow eyes and hear the sounds of its breathing as the thing barreled toward his immobile brother. "DEAN!" he cried as he hauled his injured sibling to his feet. Dean's grunts of pain were not lost on Sam, but he couldn't focus on anything but the intense need to get them out of the hallway.

The first impact of the beast threw Sam into the wall behind Dean's shoulder, his head hit the concrete with a resounding 'crack' and he felt the warm wash of blood slip down his temple. _Great._ He thought automatically. He blinked sluggishly a couple of times as he tried to shake the confusion of smashing his head into a solid object away. His eyes slid open and then widened at the scene before him, Dean was pinned to the floor, a large black cat stood over him its claws imbedded in each of his brother's shoulders, effectively pinning him like an insect on a display tray. Sam immediately recognized the Egyptian black cat, his history class freshman year at Stanford coming back to haunt him. He remembered that the creatures served Mafdet, the goddess of justice and execution…and she had sent her creations after his brother, or else Osiris somehow had control of them too.

Dean's face was scrunched in pain as the cat dragged him slowly across the floor, the open wounds on his back pulling wider as the skin ripped and the scabs broke open. Sam didn't know how much more his brother's body could take, before it gave out…but it wasn't much. "DEAN!" he called as he pulled himself back to his feet and started to stumble toward the animal. It turned narrowed yellow-slits in his direction and pressed harder into Dean…Sam stumbled to a halt and held his hands up. The cat tilted its head and then drew back its lip in what looked like a smile before it started backing up with Dean in tow.

"Sam…" Dean mumbled through the haze of pain. He didn't understand what was going on, he'd seen the horrified expression on his brother's face, but he hadn't understood what caused it until the claws sank into his flesh, tearing new levels of agony into his abused flesh. "Just go…get back to the valley…get the hell outta here…" He finished as his shoulders pulled painfully, the animal dragging him slowly across the dirty floor in the direction of the gate. He watched as Sam shook his head, Dean's eyes slipped closed in silent defeat, he'd known that it was a long shot…getting Sam to escape without him. But he was so tired of fighting and watching the fear on Sam's expressive face was slowly killing him, one 'wounded puppy' at a time.

"No Dean…I'm not leaving you." Sam stuttered as he stared wide eyed at his brother. The horror of Dean's request reflecting in his blue-green gaze and the furrows in his forehead.

A low rumble rolled from the cat's throat as it stopped and looked expectantly at Sam caught his attention…it was waiting for something. Dean rolled his eyes up to the underside of the massive black cat, its fur was the color of ebony and it was shiny, it was wearing a collar made of jade and turquoise interlaced with gold…definitely Egyptian…his mind supplied. The bright yellow eyes of the cat twisted until they were looking at Dean…no…they were looking _into_ Dean. The cat's head tilted from side to side and then it brought the far too intelligent gaze back up to meet Sam's frightened one. Suddenly the animal backed away, pulling its massively sharp claws from his brother's flesh and stepped backwards….slowly disappearing into the darkness with nothing more than a whisper of sound. Sam stared after the departing shape, he had no clue what had caused it to leave…and that was almost as scary as what had caused it to attack…he had no idea.

Dean felt the razor sharp claws pull painfully from his body; he immediately curled in on himself in an attempt to control the new level of agony. He didn't know when Sam had moved, but suddenly there was a gentle hand on his face, tilting his eyes toward his brother's concerned gaze. "Dean?" he asked quietly.

Dean blinked sluggishly at Sam…he could see the questions raging unasked behind his brother's concerned eyes…questions that he wasn't asking. Dean took a slow breath, trying to ensure that his voice didn't shake with pain. "Sammy….I'm sorry." He whispered.

Sam's eyes widened even further as he reached up and carded his fingers through Dean's dirty sweat soaked hair. His gaze flickered to the sheet hanging loosely around Dean's knees and he pulled it up slowly, trying to give his brother some form of modesty. He knew what Dean was apologizing for…he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear it yet, but he knew in his heart that Dean's apology was sincere. His older brother would never do something to intentionally hurt him…that included disregarding one of his few requests. If their positions had been reversed…he wasn't so sure that he would've listened to Dean either. Monsters that killed innocents had to be dealt with and his personal feelings on the subject couldn't be taken into consideration. Those people that Amy had killed to save her son…they hadn't deserved to die and he'd been unwilling or unable…_depending on how he wanted to look at it…_to kill her. So Dean had taken on that burden…just like he'd taken so many of Sam's burdens over the years. His fingers dropped and traced the bones of his brother's chin as he tilted Dean's head so they were eye to eye. "I know Dean…it's okay." He said softly.

He watched as relief spread across Dean's face and he sagged in Sam's arms, his body finally releasing the tension of guilt.

"Ya know…I didn't think that he could do it…" Osiris's voice floated through the darkness as the god approached, the black cat walking silently at his side. His brown eyes flickered from Sam to Dean and back again as he saw the physical and emotional release of guilt that had been so palpable before.

Dean's pain filled eyes tracked the god as he stepped into the slowly illuminating sky…because somehow...they weren't in the hospital anymore…they were next to the lake and it was no longer filled with blood...waves of crystal clear water flowed and ebbed quietly against the shoreline. The sky was a soft blue with wispy white clouds floating lazily overhead…music playing from somewhere in the background. The tune was unrecognizable…but he was sure that he'd heard it before…_Hey Jude...mom's song..._Dean's mind finally placed the childhood tune.

"My brother's stronger than you bastards give him credit for." Sam stated strongly as he continued to hover protectively over Dean's injured form. He noticed that the tremors running through Dean's body were increasing… and Dean's eyes were glazing over as he watched the god. Sam's fear ratcheted up another notch; this was exactly how Dean had looked after the hellhounds. _No Dean! Not now._ His mind screamed as the tremors suddenly stilled and Dean's head listed to the side…green eyes staring into the distance, but focused on nothing. "DEAN!" He cried as the body went limp and his brother's injuries finally claimed their vengeance. Sam's fingers clutched frantically at his Dean's limp body, "No…no…no Dean…" he sobbed as the tears ran unchecked down his face and landed on his brother's lifeless face…washing clean tracks into the grime and the blood. He pulled Dean against his chest and begged his brother to stay with him…but nothing worked. Dean remained stubbornly lifeless…he raised broken blue-green eyes to the god. "Why?..." he whispered. "He won…he accepted everything…why now?"

The god watched the whole scenario with interest, he'd heard about the unnatural connection of the Winchester brothers. And he'd been witness to a particular string of that woven tapestry of a relationship in the barn when Sam had tracked his brother's whereabouts down and refused to leave. It was something to behold and it tugged at a muscle within the god that he hadn't used in a very long time. True, Dean had accepted the guilt of his actions prior to dying…so technically he had beaten the trials. He raised his eyebrows as he watched the tortured younger brother clutch helplessly at the lifeless form of his rock…his protector…his brother.

"So…do I get Dean's soul back now?" Alistair asked as he appeared next to the god, rubbing his hands in anticipation. The god glanced over at the demon and narrowed his eyes…whatever Dean had done in his life, whatever deals he had made…he didn't deserve to suffer an eternity for them. Sam's dull eyes rose to meet those of the men standing a few feet from him, he'd heard the demon's request…his gaze flew to the gods and he was silently shaking his head as he drew Dean's body impossibly closer to his own.

"No…" Sam mumbled protectively.

The god furrowed his eyebrows together and shook his head at the demon… "No. I'm sending them back."

Suddenly Sam found himself lying on the bed in the motel room, his head hurt like a bitch and his muscles were so stiff he wondered exactly how long he'd been inside of …._Dean_! He pulled himself shakily to his feet. His gaze shifting to the other bed, Dean was lying in the blood soaked sheets, but his body was blessedly whole…he stumbled to the side of the other bed and dropped to the floor as his knees gave out and he laid his head on his brother's shoulder.

Sam didn't know how long he sat there, the tears running silently down his face as he watched their lives pass. He'd always known that Dean would move heaven and earth to save him…he _had._ He was so lost in his pain that he didn't notice it when a hand came up and rested softly on his head, long fingers carding through his soft locks in silent comfort. It was the rumble of his brother's voice that finally pulled him from his pained world. "Sammy?..."

Dean felt his brother shift suddenly, his tear soaked eyes pulling desperately to Dean's as he sat back quickly. "Dean…" he whispered his own hands came up to embrace Dean's face. His eyes searching frantically for the truth of what he was seeing…_Dean was alive_.

"Dean…you're alive." He stated simply, the tears still rolling unchecked down his face as he simply looked into the worried green gaze of his only living family. _Living family…_

Dean smiled tiredly at him and reached up to pull Sam into a hug…Sam's walls broke and he sobbed into his brother's shoulder…completely soaking Dean's t-shirt. "Shhh…Sammy…it's okay…I'm okay." Dean soothed as his hands rubbed gently up and down his brother's massive back…just he had done when Sam was small and he'd been scared or had a nightmare and then crawled silently into Dean's bed for comfort. "No more waterworks there Sam…we're okay." He whispered again.

Sam sat back slowly and moved so he was sitting near Dean's hip, his brother slid up the mattress and propped himself against the headboard. His eyes moving tiredly around the room, taking in the blood sprayed on the walls and gore that had long since soaked into the bed. It was a grizzly sight and his heart clenched for what he knew his brother must have gone through. Parts of him were still embarrassed that his brother had seen him so utterly broken…but other parts of him were glad that Sam knew the extent to which he would go for his younger brother. Maybe now he would finally understand that Dean would do anything…_anything…_ to save him. "Sam…I'm sorry." He said again as his gaze finally connected with Sam's glassy eyes.

Sam shook his head and scrubbed his hand over his face, "I know Dean…" he answered as his gaze shifted to the bed and he started twisting the sheets…another nervous habit of his.

Dean smiled when he saw it. "Sam I want to talk about all this…but I feel like a slasher movie victim…I need a shower." Sam nodded and stood up so his brother could take care of himself. He didn't want to let Dean out of his sight but he to agree that it was probably something Dean needed to take care of.

"Dean?" Sam asked as Dean grabbed his duffel off the end of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"It's good to hear your voice…" Sam said as he listened to the gravelly sound of his brother's voice…he'd missed it…so much more than he'd ever thought possible.

THE END

**Author's Note: ** _And scene….they will be back out on the road….and able to move past this little fiction none the worse for wear. Well maybe they'll get along better…and maybe Sam won't leave Dean again. Hope you guys are satisfied with this conclusion. I couldn't rule out Lucifer, since he is such a large part of the seventh season. And I figured that a god of justice would probably make allowances if he thought he saw a true 'change of heart'. I'm working on another sorta canon…sorta AU between the brothers. The first chapter should be up soon…it is not a continuation of this story, but its own new adventure and set of challenges for the brothers. It's called "__**A Different Kind of Deal**__". _

**Please Review: Hope you guys were ready for an ending, because the boys sure were.**


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